Page 13 of The Mismatch

Oliver took a last puff of the joint he was smoking and dropped the butt into a glass. It still had someone’s drink in it. He had an uncanny ability to look perfectly sober, and act it, even when stoned.

‘Most thirteen-year-olds don’t either. They just do it,’ he said.

‘But what if—’

‘OK, let’s just cut straight to the chase. Soraya, do you want to have this hanging over you forever? It’s all you talk about lately, that you’ve never been kissed,’ Priya chimed in.

‘Guys, could you be less loud?’ Soraya breathed in deeply.

She’d done so much at university and yet when it came to men she’d done nothing. Who knew when an opportunity like this would come again?

She resolved to take action. To do what she wanted for a change, rather than let her life be dictated by her parents and their views.

If she was truly being honest, she didn’t know what her thoughts were about sex before marriage. She’d grown up assuming she would wait, and at one point in her life she liked that idea. Liked that there would only be one person for her. That their relationship would be halal. That it wouldn’t have to be kept a secret from her family. It was only at university, however, that she realised the likelihood of finding someone who would wait until marriage was low.

And she didn’t know if she wanted to wait anymore.

But quite frankly the thought of having sex with someone terrified her, so it was pushed to the back of her mind every time it arose.

Whilst she still wasn’t quite sure how she felt about sex before marriage, she now knew that she wanted to kiss someone before marriage. Wanted to know what it felt like. Even if it was embarrassing, at least she would never have to see him again. Any experience at this point was good experience. She just had to push past her guilt, and the fact that objectively he was the last person she’d choose to have her first kiss with.

‘Oh, God, I’m going to do it,’ she said, before mock heaving, at which Priya cackled loudly. ‘I’m going to ask Magnus Evans out.’

CHAPTER 6

Soraya

London, 2014

Hey, do you fancy going for a drink sometime?

Immediately after sending Magnus the Facebook message, she locked her phone and turned it face down on her bed.

Two days had passed since the party, and despite Priya and Oliver’s goading her to ask him out immediately, she’d put it off until she had had the time to think about it logically.

She had written a list of pros and cons in her diary, which she kept hidden under her pillow, but whilst there were many cons, the one pro outweighed the rest: she’d finally get it over with and be able to move on with her life.

It wasn’t as though she was intentionally a twenty-one year-old who hadn’t been kissed. As a teenager it was virtually impossible for it to happen, but she hadn’t abstained from kissing at university for any particular reason. She had wanted to do it, but, setting aside the guilt she felt at thinking such thoughts, the guys she liked never showed any interest in her anyway. And could she ever feel that irresistible pull towards a man who was not her husband when she was weighed down with Muslim guilt? When the thought of attempting to kiss someone made her feel sick with worry?

She needed to accept that life wasn’t like fiction; her first kiss would be logical rather than magical.

Whilst Magnus had spoken to her and paid her some attention, she was under no illusions: he paid every girl attention. She was not singled out. She’d seen the way he flitted around the party, talking to an array of women, lapping up their attention. So perhaps he was the perfect subject. One date. One kiss. Then it would be done. And they’d likely never talk again.

That was her thought process when she pressed send.

As soon as the message was sent, however, a whole manner of cringe-worthy scenarios clouded her mind.

She was almost tempted to contact him again and say the message wasn’t meant for him, but she reminded herself that she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She needed to be confident in her actions.

Her phone pinged a few minutes later. She grabbed it, almost dropping it in her haste.

MagnusHey.Why not? When you thinking?

She stared at the words for a long time.Why not?What did that even mean?

SorayaNext Friday? I’m going back home this weekend.

MagnusSounds good. Where’s home?