Page 110 of The Mismatch

‘And all I do is make you upset.’ He looked straight into Soraya’s eyes. ‘I don’t even know who I am anymore.’

PART THREE

CHAPTER 52

Soraya

London, 2015

The rest of Soraya’s days in Brighton passed quietly. Their mum avoided their dad until Amir dropped him off at Gatwick Airport a week later. Everyone was still taking in the shock of his departure.

The news about Laleh had changed everything. It wasn’t as though the thought that Laleh might have gotten herself pregnant, and that’s why she’d left, hadn’t crossed Soraya’s mind before. But she had always dismissed it, hoping her parents were not capable of keeping such a huge secret for so many years. It made sense, though. Soraya had never understood, really, why Laleh would leave her family for a boy. Now it all made sense.

They all agreed they wanted to see her. Progress. Her mum said they needed to be patient, though. Whilst they were now ever more keen to reunite with Laleh and meet their niece, Laleh might not be willing to see them so quickly.

And people needed to be sold overpriced clothing, so Soraya returned to London on New Year’s Day.

A week later she arranged to see Oliver and Priya. It was the first time in too long that Soraya had been able to feel excited about something. It gave her hope.

‘Where is she?’ Oliver asked, just as a petite girl with a messy bob walked up the stairs, coffee cup in hand. ‘Priya, hello! Loving the new hair by the way.’

‘Hey! Thank you, and sorry I’m late, guys,’ she said, sitting down next to Soraya. ‘Hey, you.’

‘Hiya.’ Soraya smiled at her. She could smell Priya’s perfume, sweet and floral, as she sat down. Priya wore bright red lipstick and a pair of glasses with thick black frames. However, the first thing Soraya noticed were her huge pineapple-shaped earrings. She had recently gotten a job at an art gallery. Soraya was not quite sure what exactly she did there but it seemed to suit her.

‘I can’t believe we’re finally doing the journal. It’s only taken us two bloody years,’ Priya laughed, pulling her laptop out of her bag. ‘Shall we dive straight in?’

‘OK, so the theme could be …’ Oliver said, letting the sentence hang as he tapped his pen against his nose.

‘Growing up?’ Priya said.

‘Nah, too clichéd,’ he said.

‘Sex!’ Priya exclaimed, a grin on her face as she typed away.

‘Again, clichéd.’ Oliver sighed. ‘I know it’s not really a cliché, but don’t we want it to be something new … fresh … something that means something to us?’

Priya looked furious for one millisecond. He didn’t see. But Soraya did. She often saw things others didn’t. In fact, she could almost feel the resentment rolling off Priya. Oliver’s dismissal of her idea wasn’t intentional, he was only trying to brainstorm random ideas. Whereas Soraya knew Priyabelieved in her ideas; they were thought out. To her, this was original stuff.

‘Breaking free?’ Soraya said, very quietly. It was more of a mumble really.

‘What was that?’ Oliver asked.

With both her friends now looking at her, Soraya struggled. Her ideas always felt stupid; unless someone told her they were good. Only with positive affirmation could she see her potential.

‘Nothing, I was thinking aloud.’

‘Did you say, “breaking free”?’ Priya said.

‘Yes, I know it’s totally lame. It’s aHigh School Musicalsong, in fact!’ Soraya gave a fake laugh.

‘I think it works,’ Oliver said. ‘You could write about sex in breaking free, growing up, and …’ He looked at Soraya in a peculiar way. But she knew what he was thinking. And he knew what she would say if he said it. She wasn’t a writer. And she wouldn’t write about her dad.

And besides, had she broken free? Or was she still chained to him? Her parents still spoke on the phone, but their relationship was different now. Her mum had more control. With her dad away, and everything out in the open, the air around them was clearer, there was less tension in the family.

Soraya hadn’t broken free from Magnus, emotionally at least. She thought about him every day, still struggled to sleep while rehashing how it all went wrong, how he was now in Paris, that it was really over.

She wondered about Laleh. Soraya had always assumed Laleh had left the family for freedom, but now she realisedshe had really been forced out. Her imaginings of her eldest sister, the type of person she might be, changed once more. She would finally get to meet her, soon she hoped, and whilst the thought made her nervous, it broke the cycle of wonder around her sister. She’d finally be able to see Laleh, rather than let her imagination take hold.