Page 108 of The Mismatch

‘That’s different—’

‘It was my fault,’ their mum choked. ‘I told her to leave.’

‘Why would you do that? What she did was wrong, yes, but family is family,’ Amir said.

Their mum was crying now. Their dad had his head in his hands.

‘She told me,’ Parvin said slowly, looking at her dad who was avoiding her gaze. ‘She told me Dad rang her when she left because Mum told him what had happened, and he said he’d kill her and the baby if she tried to come back. He said she wasn’t welcome and wasn’t his child anymore.’ Parvin said all this quietly. If the atmosphere hadn’t been as tense as it was, perhaps they wouldn’t have heard. But they all heard those words loud and clear.

Soraya’s head was spinning. She too had to lean against the wall for support. Her dad’s hatred spanned two generations, touched so many people. He was the reason her sister ran away as a teenager, afraid and pregnant. He wasthe reason they hadn’t met their niece, had been estranged from their own sister. Soraya’s hands were clenched into fists, and she had to shut her eyes. She wanted so badly to beat them against his chest and make him leave. Force him out of the house.

‘Were you ever going to tell us?’ Amir said. ‘Either of you?’

Her mum stood straighter. ‘I wanted to, so many times. I wanted to bring her home. But your dad said no. He said he’d do horrible things to her, to me, and I realised it was better for Laleh to stay away. She would have a better life away from us.’

‘Blame me! You always blame me. She was seventeen years old, having abastardchild.’ Despite his harsh words her dad said the last part of this quietly. ‘What was I supposed to do?’

‘This family is so fucked up,’ Soraya let out.

‘What? You want to end up like your sister? Is that why you have a boyfriend? You want a baby? To have your life ruined?’ her dad said.

Soraya could feel Amir stiffen next to her.

‘Boyfriend? What? Why are there so many secrets? What boyfriend?’ he said.

‘You don’t need to have secrets because you’re a boy!’ Parvin snapped.

‘I just want you all to be decent, OK?’ her dad said. ‘Everything I say is so you don’t end up …’

‘Like Laleh?’ Parvin laughed in his face. ‘Yeah, OK.’

‘I never stopped talking to her,’ their mum said quietly. ‘I always send her money, text her, call her.’ Tears still streamed down her face. Soraya was struggling to keep up. ‘I never stopped caring.’

‘What?’ Their dad looked confused, but the anger had left his expression and what remained was betrayal. He had never suspected his wife to be capable of such deceit, even if it was necessary.

‘You think I’d disown my own daughter? Never talk to her again? Never speak to my granddaughter? You’re the idiot.’

He put his hands to his almost bald head, as though forgetting he had no hair left to pull. ‘I was doing what I thought was right.’

‘Right for who?’ their mum said. ‘You’re nothing like the man I married. He was understanding, loving. He would never have made me disown my precious child.’

‘You all think I’m so heartless. Like I don’t think of Laleh, like I wanted this to happen—’

‘You never let us talk about her!’ their mum shouted. ‘She’s become like that evil character in Harry Motter, Potter, whatever it is—’

‘Harry Potter,’ Soraya interjected, and then quickly shut her mouth.

‘I didn’t want her behaviour to influence our other children. For them to think sleeping around is OK, that it’s OK to fuck up your life and act like English girls.’ He looked his wife in the eyes, solemnly. ‘But don’t you ever think I simply washed my hands of Laleh. She’s always in my dreams. She never goes away. Even when I want her to, she’s always there.’ He shook his head.

‘She’s your daughter, of course she won’tgo away,’ their mum said. ‘How did you become so selfish, so self-centred?’She looked like she was about to spit on him, a look of pure disgust on her face.

Their dad noticed this. Soraya saw the way his shoulders slumped, and it was as though something clicked in him. She noticed his eyes were suddenly very shiny, but couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

‘Yes, I know, I’m the worst. I’m bad, worthless. That’s what you all think. You think I don’t know this either? That I ruin everything?’ He looked at Soraya then, and she diverted her gaze to the floor, hoping he would stop looking at her. His eyes on her made her feel uncomfortable, her heart beating even faster until she wished she could run. ‘You especially, you’ve always hated me, haven’t you?’

Soraya shrugged her shoulders, unable to form words.

‘Everything I’ve done has been for my family, even if it doesn’t seem that way. Sometimes you’re rude, you have no manners, so I get angry. But I didn’t mean for things to get the way they did before, you know that …’