Page 98 of Trouble

‘Do shut up, Oliver,’ Captain Edwards said, his breathing ragged as he dismounted.

‘I would offer to give you some privacy,’ Oliver said to Emily, ‘but I don’t want to, so I shan’t.’

Emily climbed down from the gig so that she could at least put ten feet between them, and Captain Edwards strode to meet her.

‘You have not received a letter informing you that you have inherited half the county,’ he said, still very out of breath. ‘I thought I should make that clear first, in case—’

‘Yes,’ said Emily. ‘I know.’

Now that he was standing in front of her again, her desire to run had evaporated like mist on a hot day. Of course she didn’t want to leave him; she just didn’t want to stay long enough to be sent away.

‘Well,’ said Captain Edwards. ‘I thought about what you said. About Charles. And .?.?. I believe you.’

‘You didn’t have to think for very long,’ said Emily.

‘No,’ he said. ‘I didn’t.’

A weight lifted so suddenly from Emily’s shoulders that she felt loose and buoyant. It felt almost like absolution.

‘Good,’ she said, nodding mechanically. ‘That’s good. To know.’

‘I have already toldyoueverything – almost everything,’ he said, the words coming out in a rush, as if he were worried he might not have the chance to say them all, ‘but there is one thing – I am leaving.Weare leaving. I don’t want to cling to the house until it is taken from me by force. I am finished with the navy. I was never particularly fond of polite society. Aster needs somewhere he can have a fresh start. I’m not sure where we’ll go, but .?.?. wewillgo.’

‘Oh,’ said Emily, unsure why he was telling her this but not wishing to seem rude. ‘Well, that sounds .?.?. pleasant.’

Captain Edwards was looking at her as if she had just told him to go fuck himself, which she was relatively certain she had not.

‘Emily,’ he said. ‘I am asking you to come with us.’

‘That is .?.?. kind of you,’ Emily said. ‘But I do not think I can remain your governess, after all of this. It would be rather uncomfortable for everybody involved.’

‘Not as a governess,’ Captain Edwards said slowly. He looked very serious, as if he were explaining to somebody on a sinking ship how to launch a life raft. ‘As my wife.’

Apparently they were not far enough away from Oliver to make this conversation truly private, because he let out a choked-off sound that Emily heard quite clearly before she opened her mouth and laughed.

It was an odd, breathless laugh, the sort she had not been capable of before Fairmont House, with more than a hint of hysteria in it.

‘You cannot be serious,’ she said. ‘Youcannotbe serious! You have just discovered that Istolefrom you, that I was meeting with somebody who was trying toblackmailyou, and you ask me to be yourwife?’

‘I told you I had thought about this—’

‘For how long? Ten minutes?’

She heard Oliver snort out another laugh behind her, and resolved to ignore him.

‘Fifteen, or perhaps twenty,’ Captain Edwards said defensively, ‘but I know my own mind and am strong in my convictions, and I have already asked youtwiceeven if you refused to hear it. Will you stop being so stubborn and actuallyconsiderit, before you try to run away again? Because I do not believe you are half as terrible as you think you are, and I am willing to take a chance on whatever it is you feel thatmightbe something like love, and .?.?. and Idowantto give you flowers and hold your damned hand, even if the idea is somewhat repugnant to you. Although obviously .?.?. I would prefer if it were .?.?. not.’

Emily was ready to shout at him, but this knocked the wind from her sails. She took a breath, and closed her mouth so that she could think.

‘Amy will always be my first priority,’ she said. ‘And .?.?. my mother, I suppose. Wherever we went, we would have to take that into consideration.’

‘Yes,’ said Captain Edwards. ‘Done.’

‘And I could never be alady, no matter where we go. I refuse to take on airs and graces, or pretend to be somebody I am not, for the sake of you or anybody else.’

Captain Edwards nodded. ‘I told you I am done with society, and I mean it. Besides, we could never afford another ball, even if we wanted one.’

‘And .?.?. the other staff,’ said Emily, lowering her voice so that Oliver could not overhear her. ‘You cannot abandon them on a whim because you wish to leave the house.’