Page 73 of Trouble

‘I told you I can’t dance, and you wouldn’t listen to me – did it even occur to you that you might be embarrassing me? And .?.?. and I have no desire to be trotted out as acharitycase, evidence of your goodwill, that you’ll deign to take the hand of a lowly governess one night of the year. Did you clean off your glove afterwards, where nobody could see? Will you laugh about it with your real guests?’

‘Of course not,’ Captain Edwards said, his voice as tight as a plucked bowstring. ‘Amy—’

‘No,’ Emily said. ‘Donotcall me that.’

She wasn’t looking at his face, but she saw his body half-flinch away from her. Good. Fine.

‘Again, I offer my sincere apologies.’ He was using his captain’s voice – his man-of-the-house voice. ‘I can assure you that I had no desire to upset or embarrass you. I have apologised twice over – I don’t know what more you want from me.’

‘I want to knowwhy,’ Emily said. She hated that it came out with so much feeling. ‘Why did you dance with me likethat?’

Captain Edwards took a slow, careful step closer to her.

‘I danced with you because I wanted to dance with you.’ He still sounded stiff and formal, but Emily could hear something else in there, too – an undercurrent of true emotion. ‘I overstepped. It was inappropriate in the extreme, and if I made you feel .?.?. If I gave you the impression that I .?.?. I have apologised, Miss Laurence. The mistake will never be repeated.’

‘You think that just because you are the head of this household,’ Emily said, running too hot to slow down, ‘you can do whatever you want, without consequence. I might be an employee,Captain, but I am still a person – not a prop, not a gimmick – and I am still awoman, even if my reputation can take a little harder wear than the Mrs Spencers of the world.’

‘Believe me,’ Captain Edwards said roughly. ‘I do not need reminding that you are a woman.’

This hung strangely in the air between them, and Emily was surprised to find that in an instant, her anger was transformed into something else entirely.

It made absolutely no sense that standing here, shouting at him, genuinely incensed by his behaviour, she also wanted to press her hands to those broad shoulders – to make a mess of his collar, to force him to stop playing at captain and just be a man at a ball again. His face was slightly flushed from dancing, one hand raised, as if he were thinking of reaching for her but choosing restraint.

When she finally did touch him, hands splayed flat across his collarbones in a strange, dazed wonder at her own daring, all his restraint seemed to leave him in a rush; his body bent towards her at once, as if he had been waiting at the very edge of his nerve for permission, and then his hand was at her waist again like it had been on the dance floor, fisting in all that silky blue so that he could pull her closer. His other hand slid to cup the back of her neck and she felt his fingers there, sure and careful, as he kissed her.

Emilyreallyhadn’t been sure that he wanted her. He had said and done enough to make her wonder, but she had no idea whether it was all just a bit of fun for him, a minor flirtation to ease the passing of the days that could never reallyturn into action.

He certainly wanted her now. He was kissing her without hesitation or reserve, long-simmering heat in the drag of his lips and the curl of his fingers which were now sliding into her hair, and there was nothing measured or controlled about the way he gathered her to him so that their bodies were pressed flush together without an inch of space between them.

Emily let herself feel it – feel both wanted and heady with want, feel the hard lines of his body as he drew her close – until his hand slipped from her hair and he pulled back just for a moment, allowing her brain to sputter back to life with great, heavy reluctance.

‘Wait,’ Captain Edwards said, as if he had read and understood the change in her expression immediately. ‘Don’t—’

‘This is a mistake,’ Emily said.

Captain Edwards’s grip on her waist tightened, as if he could keep her there, and Emily’s eyes half-shut as she took a moment to gather herself. His fingers wereverydistracting.

‘I need to .?.?. I have to go.’

Captain Edwards released her, but he didn’t move away.

‘I will escort you back to the ballroom,’ he said, his voice tight. ‘But later, Miss Laurence, when the guests have departed—’

‘That’senough.’

Emily didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. That she should come to his room, perhaps? Or maybe that was too risky – too likely to be spotted by some other member of staff, or God forbid, one of the children. The garden, then. The stables. Some place he could kiss her, and touch her, and know that he could get away with it. Somewhere he could hide her, so that he could return her to her proper place once he was finished with her, leaving everybody else none the wiser.

He didn’t really think she wasbeautiful. He just thought she was useful, in this particular regard.

The world made sense again.

‘Miss Laurence, please. I need to—’

‘Miss Laurence?’ said an unfamiliar voice.

Emily had been so caught up in both her desire and her anger in rapid succession that she hadn’t noticed a messenger riding up the road to meet them; if the expression on Captain Edwards’s face was anything to go by, he hadn’t either. They both stared at the young man, and he looked slightly panicked.

‘Er,’ he said haltingly. ‘I have a .?.?. a letter? An urgent note, for a Miss Emily Laurence. I thought I heard him say that was .?.?. you.’