Page 16 of Gwen and Art Are Not in Love

‘It’s nothing,’ she said, trying to smile at him and only managing a grimace. ‘I just want a bit of peace, and … this seems the easiest way.’

‘All right,’ he said slowly, reaching out and patting her arm so awkwardly that Gwen laughed. ‘But, you know, if you need—’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I know. Just … It’s fine, Gabe. I know whatI’m doing.’ He considered her for a while, and then sighed, reaching for an apricot.

‘So,’ he said. ‘You and Arthur? Besotted sweethearts?’ Gwen put her head in her hands and nodded. ‘Well. This should be interesting.’

‘Whatareyou wearing?’

Arthur was sporting an elaborate jacket that was all brushed velvet and polished gold hardware; walking next to him, in a simple peach dress, Gwen felt distinctly underwhelming.

‘That’s not a very good start,’ Arthur said, smiling pleasantly at her. They were heading north, past the orchard, towards the drawbridge that would take them out of the castle and down to the tournament grounds. She saw her mother glance back at them and smile approvingly as they crossed the moat, and then they were being hustled through a back entrance by a fleet of guards and escorted to their seats in the royal stand. The king and queen sat first, taking pride of place in the hardy thrones constructed strictly for outdoor use; they were wildly luxurious compared to the tight rows of narrow benches in the other stands.

The ornamental sword Excalibur was already in place directly in front of her father on its own little plinth. It was large and ornate, modelled on the original, protruding from a slab of glittering rock. The winner of the tournament was allowed to hold it very briefly during the closing ceremony while the crowd cheered for them – and then it was hastily reclaimed, lest they drop it, or try to yank the sword from the stone and proclaim themselves king.

Gwen sat down with Gabriel on her right and Arthur, still smiling that infuriatingly benign smile, on her left. She saw a ripple of interest travel through the crowd, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course they were all muttering. She never came to the tournament escorted. Arthur was a novelty, and he was probablylovingit. A quick glance at him confirmed her theory; he ran a deliberate hand through his hair and then turned slowly so that his face was in profile, stopping short when he met Gwen’s glare.

‘What?’

‘Are you quite finishedpreening?’

This rebuke didn’t seem to land. ‘Put your hand on my arm,’ he said quietly, and Gwen snorted.

‘Thanks, but I’m really not that desperate.’

‘I mean, I’d say youare, but that’s a matter for another time – put your hand on my arm, and laugh as if I’ve said something terribly funny. For your parents. For the people.’

‘Why don’t you putyourhand onmyarm, and laugh as ifI’vesaid something terribly funny?’ Gwen hissed back indignantly. ‘It’s more realistic anyway – it can’t look as if I’m succumbing to charms of yours that don’t exist.’

She expected a retort, but instead she felt Arthur’s hand alight gently on her elbow; he leaned towards her, as if they were deep in private and amorous conference, and then tossed his head back prettily and laughed.

‘He’s good at this,’ Gabriel said quietly in her ear on her other side. Gwen flinched.

‘Stop watching,’ she said, through gritted teeth.

‘I am good, though,’ Arthur said, winking at Gabriel,who looked thunderstruck and quickly turned back to face the arena.

‘Don’t wink athim,’ Gwen said. ‘The point is to make it seem likewe’regetting together, not that this is some kind of … mildly incestuous free-for-all.’

‘You have a truly terrifying mind,’ Arthur said, leaning back in his seat. ‘God – is that – that’s not Excalibur?’

‘The real Excalibur was lost,’ Gwen said slowly, as if explaining something to an infant. ‘Surely you saw the replacement here when you visited as a child?’

‘You’d be surprised how little attention I pay to things that don’t interest me,’ Arthur said, although hedidseem interested in the sword; he was craning his neck to get a better look at it. ‘Whyisit in a stone? Didn’t some odd woman chuck it out of a pond?’

‘Reports differ about how it was obtained,’ said Gabriel, sounding as if he were trying not to smile. Gwen was surprised that he was being so talkative – but then, he never passed up an opportunity to wax Arthurian. ‘And we could hardly present somebody with a pond.’

Arthur’s brow furrowed. ‘So that’s, what – Excalibur version two?’

‘Actually,’ Gabriel said, ‘it’s Excalibur Nine.’

‘ExcaliburNine?’ Arthur spluttered, as if this were the most hilarious thing he’d ever heard. ‘What happened to Excaliburs two through eight?’

‘They – I don’t know, they kept losing them,’ Gwen said crossly. ‘In bets, or just … in battle. Stoplaughing, for God’s sake. Someone stole Eight, probably sold it to some Arthurian cultists somewhere, but we’ve had Nine for years.’

‘Oh myGod. Can anybody just … pull it out, and bagsy king?’

‘No,’ Gwen said. ‘Well, I think it might be made so that nobody can remove it – but then, they’d want Father to be able to take it out, if he had to. Seriously, Arthur, stoplaughing, be quiet …’