Page 80 of Infamous

‘Ed, what on earth are you doing?’ Rose had appeared, rosy-cheeked and dressed to depart, the shawl Eddie had borrowed earlier now neatly tucked around her shoulders. ‘Why are you plastered in mud? You’d better hurry – the boat will wait, but apparently not for long, there’s a storm rolling in. You should see if Anne or Mrs Hall can bring you hot water for a quick wash, or we shall have to look at you like that all the way back to town.’

There was a slight pause while Eddie processed these words.

‘But .?.?. I am not going back to London.’

Another pause, punctuated only by the patter of the rain.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘We shall give you a moment,’ said Dayo, exchanging a significant glance with Albert before the two of them ducked back inside.

‘I don’t understand,’ Rose said slowly, her brows knitted in consternation. ‘Yesterday you said .?.?. I thought you were coming with me.’

‘What?’ said Eddie. She was standing out of the cover of the porch, and as a result was getting even damper by the second. ‘I told you I couldn’t. Not yet.’

‘But that was before—’

‘Rose, listen. Nash wrote to his editor. He wants to read my novel, he wants to publish it, he said – it’s all reallyhappening.’ Eddie waited for Rose to smile, to congratulate her – but she didn’t say anything at all. ‘Rose?’

Rose did not jump for joy, or pull Eddie into a happy embrace, or laugh with delight. She seemed completely baffled by Eddie’s grin, which faltered and then disappeared.

‘So, you’re staying here?’ Rose said. ‘Withhim?’

Eddie shook her head, baffled. ‘Rose .?.?. did you not hear what I said? Look, if this is about your hurt feelings, Nash said he was going to apologise. Or .?.?. I think he did. Did he not come to see you at breakfast?’

‘What? No, I haven’t seen him all morning. Myhurt feelings?’

The painful disparity between the reception she had expected for her happy news and the reality of Rose’s disgusted expression soured Eddie from the inside out.

‘Do you really have nothing else to say to me, after what I have just told you? You are just vexed because I won’t drop everything to follow you back to London. You want to turn this into some grand choice between the two of you, and I simply won’t. You should not have followed me here if—’

Rose stepped out into the rain.

‘You think Ifollowedyou here? What, because I had nothing better to do? I came to lookoutfor you, because you do such a poor job of doing it yourself! Because I actually carefor you, unlikeNash Nicholson. Albert and I would have been married and settled by now, he had no desire to abscond to this damned lake – have you even thought of that? I had my own plans. The life I want to build is waiting for me in London. I can’t keepgivingyou so much with so little hope of return. I knew no good would come of this trip. If you weren’t so blinkered by Nash’s fame and success, you’d see him for what he really is – and what you are to him.’

Eddie crossed her arms petulantly. ‘Go on, then. Impart your great wisdom.’

‘He’s aliar, Eddie. He tells you what you want to hear, and expects the same in kind. He has absolutely no use for the truth. Youmustsee, after what happened at the party – that was what he wanted all along. I tried to warn you, but you didn’t want to hear it. You are caught up in this delusion he’s built for you. Thisfantasy.But .?.?. it’s time to grow up.’

Eddie took a deep, painful breath, and then let it out again slowly.

‘I see,’ she said. ‘You’re jealous. Jealous of what Nash and I share, because you’ll never understand it. Perhaps you don’twanthim to help me succeed, to make something of myself, in case .?.?. in case I leave you behind. You’re not used to being the one left out, it was always me sitting around at home while you went off to live your life, and now it seems as if the tables have turned—’

‘Oh, Ed,’ Rose said, sounding hideously sympathetic. ‘You alreadyaresomething. And so am I.’

Albert popped his head through the doorway, looking nervous.

‘Are we ready to depart?’

‘Just a minute,’ Rose said, smoothing her hair and lifting her chin, blinking back her tears. Eddie tried not to stare at her, but it was impossible; she wanted to treasure this last glimpse before they were separated, as if it might keep her sated all the way through to Christmas. She looked sad but stalwart, like a general leading a doomed, righteous last stand. ‘I .?.?. I have forgotten something upstairs.’

She disappeared into the house, and Henry and Dayo came out behind Albert. The former picked up Rose’s trunk, and they all said stilted goodbyes, Eddie promising listlessly to come and see Dayo speak when she was back in town.

When Rose reappeared, Eddie still hadn’t decided what to say to her – she opened her mouth, unwisely intending to improvise, but Rose cut her off.

‘The wedding is to be just before Christmas. My parents wrote to say that they have determined an auspicious date, so that’s that. I hope you’ll come, even if .?.?.’

A thousand unspoken things hung in the air between them.