Page 72 of Let's Kiss and Tell

We both take a sip and he brings his attention back to the stove. “Is there anything you wish you could’ve experienced abouthaving aboyfriend?” He says the word like he just saidSanta Claus.

“You know…there is,” I say, surprised how easily an answer comes to mind. “I’ve never gotten to saymy ex.”

“Your ex?” Marsh frowns. He takes the finished grilled cheese off the pan with a spatula and places it on the cutting board. I watch the cheesy goodness ooze out, and my mouth starts to water.

“Yeah, like the saying,” I clarify. “People always refer to their exes and I’ve never done that, because I don’t have an ex.”

Marsh lets out a laugh. He removes the second grilled cheese, placing it on the cutting board and slicing it in half. “Seriously?That’swhat you’re missing out on?”

“I’d just like to be able to use the term if I ever need to.”

Marsh adds a side of sweet potato chips to both our plates and then guides me out of the kitchen. “Okay, Lucy, I am giving you permission to use the termmy ex.”

“You can’t do that.” I follow him out to his back patio. It’s a moderate space with a cool stone patio, birds-of-paradise offering a fragrant smell, and two mature trees—one filled with lemons.

Marsh sets our plates down and then runs back inside. He returns with a bottle of orange wine and napkins, placing them on his white bistro table. It looks like one you’d find in an Italian summer beach club circa the seventies.

“Think about it,” Marsh says. “You have a bunch of these guys you dated—”

“A little more than a bunch.”

“Hundredsof these guys you dated,” Marsh amends, and I chuckle. “You can combine them all together and make one giant Super Ex.”

I throw my head back in laughter as he pours me a glass of wine. “Great, just what I need. One giant asshole.”

“Well, whenever this ends”—he looks at me and it feels like he instantly regrets what he’s started to say—“I guess I’ll technically be your first ex.”

The thought of that, what happens at the end of all of this, is something that causes a pang in my chest. I push past it and take a piece of cheese off my plate, popping it in my mouth. “Thank you for not judging me for dating an embarrassing amount of people.”

“If it makes you feel better, in the last decade, I’ve also dated an embarrassing amount of people.” Marsh holds up three fingers.

I take a bite of the sandwich. It’s only cheese, bread, and a little seasoning, but it’s delicious.

“How did you and Julia meet?” I ask, wanting to know the whole story.

“I kind of knew her my whole life.” He shrugs. “Our dads were friends. It wasn’t until we both ended up at the same college that we started getting to know each other.”

“So, you were together for almost ten years,” I ponder. I can’t imagine being with someone for ten weeks let alone ten years. “Did you think you’d get married?”

“I guess on some level I thought we would, because we’d already been together for so long.” He sucks in his lips, taking a breath. “But I neversawit. Does that make sense? Like getting from point A to point B would require me buying a ring, getting down on one knee, telling her I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I don’t know, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that.”

“I see.”

“I sound like a piece of shit—”

“I mean, look who you’re talking to.” I let out a weak laugh. “Ifanyone understands the concept of not seeing a long-term future with someone…”

“Yeah.” He takes a sip of his wine that perfectly matches the warm orange hue in the sky. “You know, I never got to really thank you.”

“Marsh, you’ve thanked me a million times,” I say.

“For not judging me because I can’t find a plus-one.”

“Oh please.” I throw my head back. “There’s a difference between not being able to find a date and not wanting to lead someone on.”

“You’re making it sound a lot more honorable than it is.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” I say. “Do you know how refreshing it is to find an attractive man who first off”—I use my fingers to start counting—“has a stable career, isn’t a player, and has proven that he’s been able to be in a long-term relationship? Oh, and for some people, it’s a bonus you don’t have kids.”