Page 61 of Let's Kiss and Tell

“Assholes,” she says. Her answer triggers a small ember inside of me. I wouldn’t say it’s me feeling protective of Lucy—she’s quite capable of taking care of herself. But it’s almost…anger? That any guy could be with her and not realize what a fucking gem she is. Who in their right mind would mistreat Lucy? “There’s something about me that men are attracted to but that they don’t like,” she continues.

I frown. “What does that mean?”

“I have enough self-awareness to know that I’m not the kind of person you settle down with. I’m the kind of person you have fun with until you find someone who your family will respect. Nobody’s sayingLucy’s such a lovely girl.”

“Because you write about sex?” I ask, not seeing her sentiment at all.

“That,” she responds, “but I’m forward, I’m honest. It feels like too much for people.”

“Not me,” I say and then instantly regret it. Maybe I too have had too much alcohol. But Lucy just smiles and takes another sip of her drink. Then she does something else. Something that I could not have expected.

She starts rubbing her foot against my leg.

“Look at me,” she says. I look at her. I keep eye contact with Lucy, who now has that devilish smile on full display. “Dani’s watching.”

Although I’m aware she’s doing this for my sake, I can’t help but think she’stoogood at this.

Trying to focus on anything other than Lucy’s lips, I take in everything around us: the smell of alcohol in the air, the sound of the bass booming through our seats, the people on the dance floorlaughing, singing, swaying. All details I’ll make note of and that will help me with my story later.

Then I try to think of how they make me feel.

How does the taste of alcohol stained on my lips make me feel? How does the music blaring through the speakers make me feel? How does Lucy running a hand through her hair, revealing the most sensitive part of her neck, make me feel?

It makes me very aware that I haven’t had sex in over four months.

“Is she still watching?” I ask, my voice low.

“Mhm,” she says, so low I barely hear her. “Let’s dance.”

In an instant, she’s standing up. She has her martini glass in one hand and passes me my beer. Once I follow suit and grab my drink, she interlocks her fingers with mine and guides me to the dance floor. We find a spot in the middle of the crowd. It’s a sensory overload with strobe lights and whiffs of perfume, cologne, and mixed drinks. People are bumping up against us, and it feels like we just entered a space where there are no more rules.

Like everyone else, we face the direction of the DJ who’s set up on a stage. There are lights beaming in all directions, and the music is a rush of adrenaline that’s unmatched. Lucy positions herself in front of me, her hips swaying back and forth and dangerously close to my crotch. I take another sip of my beer and naturally let myself feel the music the way she is, but I keep my distance.

She stands on her tiptoes, and I lean down so she’s within earshot. “She’s still watching.”

“Yeah?” Frankly, I couldn’t care less about Dani and who else is watching right now.

Lucy leans in closer and puts her hand on my chest. Her touch slowly moves down to my stomach and she frowns, staying there for a moment. She gently pushes into my torso, and I swear to god she bites her lip.

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” She looks up at me.

I grab her hand and move it off my body. “Are you good, Lucy?”

“I’m great.” She takes a sip of her martini.

“You don’t need to do this because of Dani.”

“She’s the worst!” Lucy frowns. “She’s going to go back to Julia and tell her all about how Marsh is dating some sex writer and how she’s better off without you. Let’s at least give her some juicy details to share.”

“You’re drunk, Lucy,” I clarify.

“Tipsy is different from drunk.” Lucy points a finger at me.

My breath staggers. The music is now pumping through my veins, and everything feels so sweaty and loud and dark. Yet, Lucy is this bright light in front of me.

“What’s two times two?” I ask, testing if she really is sober enough. Making sure the alcohol isn’t the main driver of her decisions right now.

Lucy smiles and places her hand back on my chest. “Four.”