Page 21 of Let's Kiss and Tell
“Nothing will happen!”
“It feels like an HR case waiting to happen,” I respond.
“Nobody will even know it’s you! I’m not using any names. Just think of it as quid pro quo,” she says encouragingly.
“I fear that’s exactly how HR will see it.”
“Come on,” she says. “You help me, so I help you. Okay, maybe if I told you what my angle is it would help.”
“I don’t think—”
“What I’m going to do is write a weekly story for the column sharing that I’m in this new, incredible relationship,” Lucy starts, and I’m already so very much against this. “I’ll embody feelings people get when theythinkthey find the person for them. First fights, furniture shopping, all of that. Then as the month goes on, reveal the messy,realside of relationships and show my readers that they’re all mystified by the idea of love. I’ll write about a breakup, and it’s going to empower those who are most likely already unhappy in relationships to break up with their partners and embrace being happy on their own. ThenThe Ruewill realize that my perspective on sex is valuable.”
I stare at Lucy and blink. “You want people to break up with their partners?”
“No,of course not.” She puts a hand on her collarbone. “But if they find the strength to leave their shitty relationships with my help, I won’t be mad.”
“And you think your editor will be happy with the trajectory of those stories?” I ask.
“Well, that’s why it’s perfect, Marsh. Everyone is going tothinkI’m falling head over heels for my new boyfriend. Everything will sound completely genuine and thenbam.” She hits the back of her hand on her palm. “Hit ’em with a dose of reality.”
“Uh, okay…”
“It was your idea,” she says.
“Myidea?!”
“Yes,” she insists. “You told me to write about the messy, real side of relationships…and it’s a brilliant idea.”
“Yeah, I thought you were going to write an opinion piece on how empowering it is to be single. Not a whole manipulation series with a fake relationship.”
“Aren’tallrelationships technically fake?” She raises an eyebrow.
“No?”
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” she says, dismissing me. “I thought this through, and I’m confident I can pull it off. Forget about what I need to do onmyend. I’m telling you that I can be your plus-one, Marsh. You don’t need to go on any apps or try to pick up women at grocery stores. I will make this so easy for you.Andyou don’t have to worry about me wanting anything more. You can flaunt me in front of your family and your ex with no strings attached.”
My eyes quickly travel from the top of her head down to her toes. A pearl white pedicure peeks out from her flats. I’ll be honest, a woman like Lucy is someone I couldn’t have even conjured up in my dreams let alone have on my arm…but there are a million reasons why I shouldn’t agree to this.
“I can’t ask that of you.”
“You’re not asking me. I’m askingyou,” she says like it’s no big deal. “You haven’t found anyone, right?”
“Well, no.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she retorts, and there’s something so determined about her stance. She most definitely was in debate club in high school.
“What happened to that whole conversation from the other night?” I ask. “I’m sure you havemanymen that are lining up to date you. And you don’t have to make a case for them either.”
“I don’t want to date those men,” she says. “I want to dateyou.”
Oh.
“Lucy.” I cough.
“I mean that you get me. You get what I need,” she explains. “I don’t want to spend all that time with someone else and lead them on and by the end of it, drop them once I write my stories. It’s the same reason you don’t want to bring some random as a date. That’s why I told you what I’m doing up front.”
She does have a point. It would be pretty shitty to date someone, build a foundation, only for it to just be exposed in a story. Despite the whiplash I have right now, I do appreciate Lucy being honest with me from the beginning.
