Page 147 of Let's Kiss and Tell

I lean down and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, Mom, you look beautiful.” She has on a simple lavender dress with blocky heels.

“Thank you.” She rubs my back. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m great,” I say. “Never better.”

She shoots me a look. “You don’t need to be sarcastic.”

“I’m not being sarcastic,” I say. “I’m serious. I’m happy for Julia.”

“You know that could’ve been you.” She looks up at me.

I frown. “What could’ve been me?”

“To have a family,” she says. “I know she wanted to keep trying—”

“Jesus, Mom,” I huff. “Enough! Stop this. It’s herwedding dayand you still don’t understand.”

“I just don’t get how you could be with someone all those years and then suddenly change your mind. The two of you make sense together. And don’t pretend like you don’t care, Marshall. I’m your mother, I know these things. Otherwise, why would you even be here today?”

“To be supportive? To be a bigger person?” I say, knowing that my words mean nothing. My mother may never understand.

“Well, I think it’s cruel for you to show up after breaking her heart.”

“Oh yeah,Ibroke her heart. Is that what she told you?”

“She didn’t have to tell me, Marshall,” my mom sneers. “I can tell just by talking to her that she misses you. She missesus.”

“What I don’t understand is why you’re takingherside instead of your own son’s? Listen to yourself.”

“You think I don’t care about you?” She gapes. “Ionlycare about you. Look at your brother who has a wife and a family. I want all those same things for you, and you can have that with Julia.”

“I don’t want those things right now. I don’t have to do everything Oliver did.”

“I know that but—”

“Mom,” I start to say something I’ve never said before. “Do you know how much it hurts that you think only Julia can bringme happiness? I have a job people would kill for and I have my own house—in Los Angeles, I might add…Why does being married and having kids equal success?”

“Do any of those things even mean anything if you don’t have someone to share it with?” she asks. “I just want you to behappy,Marsh. I don’t remember the last time you were happy.”

“Did you ever think I wasn’t happy all those yearsbecauseI was in a relationship I didn’t want to be in?” I counter. “Mom,look at me now.I’m happy. I’m happier than I ever have been. I have moved on. She has moved on. We’re both in a good place and it’s better this way.”

“So, you’re telling me you have it all?” my mom says unconvinced. “That you have everything you need?”

I let out an exasperated breath. “Mom, sometimesnothaving everything is the answer. Riding the rainbow is more fun than sitting with a pot of gold.”

My mom stands there speechless, and I’m thinking that maybe for the first time she’s really understanding what I’m saying.

“Now,” I say and offer my arm, “let’s go find a seat, okay?”

She doesn’t say anything. She just loops her arm in mine and we find a place with everyone.

The actual ceremony goes by fast. There’s nothing about it that’s noteworthy. It’s an event that I could have gone without seeing the rest of my life, but now that I have, I believe that I needed to see it.

Later in the evening, when the sun is finally down, and after the speeches and the dinner, the band starts playing their rendition of Top 40 music. Quinn grabs Oliver’s hand, forcing him to the dance floor, and Lucy and I follow. My mom is somewhere, chatting with my dad’s old college friends, and the four of us find ourselves in a circle, lip-synching to Stevie Wonder’s “For Once in My Life.” At some point in the song, Lucy and Quinn hold handswhile jumping up and down. A thrum travels up my abdomen into my heart at the sight.

Lucy then moves closer to me and gives me a hug. “You know…” she says over the music.

“Mhm?”