Page 145 of Let's Kiss and Tell

I see in real time Julia’s face turn from her perfectly pale complexion to white as a sheet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s just so fascinating to me that you would want your ex and his family here on your special day. I mean, considering how things ended…”

Julia walks toward me, her heels making a hollow echo with every step. “What did he tell you?” There’s nothing threatening about her tone. If anything, she sounds scared.

“Enough,” I say.

“I don’t know what you think you know, Lucy,” she says with a bite to my name, “but whatever happened between Marsh and me…is between Marsh and me. I don’t appreciate you coming to my wedding rehearsal and involving yourself in things that aren’t your business.”

There’s no part of me that wants to make Julia the enemy. She did what she did and the decision Marsh made to leave her was his own. This is Julia’s special day, one I don’t want to ruin.

“I don’t want to start a fight,” I say and I mean it. “Look, I’m happy for you. Truly. But you knew exactly what you were doing when you made that announcement. I saw how you looked directly at him.” I now take a step toward her. “Marsh is the single most important person in my life and how he feels is my business. You’ve messed with his feelings once and that’s more than enough. So, whatever else you have planned…please, stop it.”

Her neck now becomes bright red and I want to say I feel sorry for her, but I don’t.

“You thinkI’mthe bad one here?” She lets out an exasperated laugh. The glint in her eyes is now gone. “You barely know Marsh. I was with him through his days in college, when he was working nonstop at his old newspaper jobs. We didn’t have anything, and I stuck with him through it all. I spent a decade of my life by his side, and he just stopped remembering birthdays and anniversaries, and he just didn’t care anymore.” Her voice quavers dangerously. “So yeah, I want him to be here, and I want to show him that I’m going to be fine. Is that wrong? I want him to know that he wasted the best years of my life.”

Julia huffs a few teary breaths, and I reach across the sink and give her a towel. She pats the corners of her eyes and quickly takes a glance in the mirror. While I want to see a villain right now, or a crazy ex-girlfriend, I don’t. I see a human. I see a person who, just like Marsh, wants to show everyone that they’re okay.

“I know that the two of you went through something unimaginable…and I’msosorry. I really am,” I say, and her stiffness softens. “But I think maybe you should replay the last ten years in your head again. You’re not the only one who lost a part of them,” I remind her. “You deserve to be happy, Julia…but so does Marsh.”

27

Marsh

As I straighten my tie and feel the polyester between my fingers, I think of an alternate timeline. One where maybe things worked out the way they weren’t supposed to.

I’d be straightening my two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar silk tie, preparing for today’s wedding. A wedding where Julia is the bride andI’mthe groom. In this world, I mustered up the courage to buy a ring. I prepared a heartwarming speech because I am, after all, good with words. Expressing just how much I love Julia comes naturally to me, and not like a blank page that makes me feel claustrophobic. I finally booked that Ireland trip she always wanted to go on for our honeymoon. I hold her hand when we go on long drives. I laugh at her jokes because I find them genuinely funny. I seriously consider her proposal of trying again and having a family. I look at her andfeel something.

In this timeline, my reality, I’m pulling at the decent, but at this point borderline vintage, tie that’s been sitting in my closet for the past ten years. I’m preparing for my ex to get married to a man I haven’t exchanged more than fifty words with. There’s a different woman in my life. She’s on the other side of the bathroom doorplaying an eighties rock playlist on her phone and she makes me feel alive. All I want to do is be in her company. I want to make her laugh so hard that a tear comes out of her left eye, give her every oat milk latte in Los Angeles, and find a topic she’s so passionate about she has to sit cross-legged to make her point.

Up until a month ago, I was positive I knew what the rest of my life would be. There was frankly nothingnewto discover. I would go through the motions: laugh, cry, feel anger, stress, make love if I’m lucky. But I knew what was coming. Now I have no idea what to expect and I’m realizing that’s the point in living.

Looking at my reflection, I like what I see. Not just physically, but the person who I’ve become. Someone who’s hopefully empathic and caring, and someone who’s capable of love. Someone who wants to give love.

The bathroom door swings open and out emerges Lucy. I swear to god she can so easily take my breath away every damn time I see her; I don’t think it’s normal. Her hair is perfectly curled, waves cascading down her back. Her skin shimmers against the sunlight, and her dress that we picked out when we went shopping looks better than I remember. Almost like it was sewn onto her body, custom made just for Lucy. I’m surprised that a person was built so perfectly. I can tell she’s wearing more makeup than usual, but she doesn’t need it. Her face breaks out into a contagious smile, and I put my hand to my heart.

“Whadd’ya think?” She turns around, waiting for my reaction.

“I think that you’re in the wrong line of work,” I say.

“Oh?” She laughs, amused. “And what line of work would I be best suited for?”

“Modeling.”

She lets out a candid laugh. “I’m sure being five three helps.”

“Who cares,” I say, because I certainly don’t.

“Butyou,Mr. Oakley, clean up pretty good.” She walks toward me.

“I was just about to put in my contacts—”

“No, don’t!” She grabs my arm.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” She wraps her arms underneath my suit jacket. “I told you; the glasses are sexy.”