Page 73 of The Witch Queen

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a friend before. Certainly not one my age. Children weren’t permitted at court, so—aside from Mother—my sole companions were my ladies. Given that I spent most of my time making their lives miserable, they didn’t warm to me. But Verity is different. And it’s nice to have an ally in this viper’s pit. In fact, I wish we’d met sooner. I smile to myself, imagining the trouble the two of us would have gotten up to.

The clock chimes again, reminding me of the hour.

I sigh. “We’ll see if you still want to be friends after—”

Verity gasps, cutting me off. “Look whothatis.”

She gestures down an aisle, where a young man is perusing the shelves. Sunlight spills over him, shining against the embroidery on his doublet, one cut so that it shows off his broad shoulders and tapered waist. As though he can feel our attention, Gavin turns. Notices us. Panic tightens in my chest, worried he’ll come this way. Worried hewon’t.In the end, it doesn’t matter. Gavin just dips his chin, tucks his book under his arm, and strides away.

“Someone’sbitter about the hunt,” Verity comments. “Can’t even deign to say hello.”

“That’s not it,” I say. “I…ran into him on the night of the victor’s party. In the stables.”

“You were with him in the stables?” she repeats, waggling her eyebrows. “Alone?”

Heat floods my face. “It wasn’t like that.”

“So what if it was?” Verity asks with a shrug. “He’s handsome enough.”

“Heisn’t,” I insist, even as I recall the dimples that appeared when he laughed. The muscles visible through his thin linen shirt. “He’s unbearable. And he doesn’t think much better of me, either.”

And he’s right,that voice adds.

“Nothing like a little rivalry to inspire passion,” Verity replies. She leans forward and lowers her voice. “Just think. When you’re queen, you can make himkneelbefore you.”

Unbidden, an image of Gavin doing exactly that surfaces in mymind: his face tilted up, the flecks of gold shimmering in his brown eyes.

“You’re awful,” I say to Verity, swatting at her. “And anyway, I decided a long time ago that I’m not going to bother with any of that.”

“With what?” Verity asks, bewildered. “Love?”

“I never mentioned love.” Certainly not where Gavin is concerned. “But yes, if you must know. Such feelings inevitably fade in time. I’ve watched it happen with nearly every couple I know, my own parents included. And I’m not going to wind up like…”

My mother.The words stick in my throat. But they’re true. I promised myself that I wouldn’t become trapped in a marriage with a man I despised—and who despised me—shrinking with each passing day. Sometimes I wish Mother had never married Papa at all. Perhaps I wouldn’t exist, but we also wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Is this about what Isabel said?” Verity asks, concerned. “About the curse? Because that isn’t who you are, Blodwyn.”

“That’s not what everyone else thinks,” I mutter.

“Who cares about everyone else? I certainly don’t.” She grins at me, but I can’t return it. “Are you truly going to close off your heart? Isn’t that lonely?”

An ache throbs in my chest, one I’ve experienced too many times over the past few years. Because she’s right. Iamlonely. Desperately. How often had I lain awake through the long hours of night, wishing to be someone else? Wishing to be happy?

But wishes have never made much of a difference in my life.

“Better to be lonely than foolish,” I tell Verity.

With that, I return my attention to my book. But the words just swim on the page, my thoughts pulled back to the stables and Gavin. Even if I did feel something for him, how could I ever fully trust him? Besides, I doubt he would share those feelings. Not for me, the cursed princess.

But what if he did?a small, fragile part of me whispers.

The answer is more frightening than a Nevenwolf.

Chapter Twenty-One

Ayleth

Given the chaos of the trials, the mistress of the household is so eager for the extra help that she doesn’t bother to ask questions about Jacquetta’s mysterious arrival. A story about how Jacquetta is the maid of one of the visiting nobles is all it takes to secure her a place among the palace staff.