Page 55 of This Could be Love

“Fast food,” I answered, my mouth full. “I have to follow a pretty strict nutrition plan.”

“Have to or want to?”

“Both,” I replied after a brief moment of hesitation. “Sadly, the way to the top isn’t necessarily all that tasty.”

“And that’s where you want to go? To the top?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“Why do I want to be the best in the world?”

He gave an almost indiscernible shrug.

“Well, it’s just…my goal. The thing I’ve always been working toward.”

“Hmm.” He took a bite of his shrimp.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s normal to want to be the best in the world if you’re a competitive athlete. I mean, why else do it?”

“Simply because you love it?”

His tone and the way he looked at me made me defensive.

“I can love the sportandwant to be successful.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He put up his hands placatingly. “I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

“You didn’t,” I said a little too gruffly. I wanted to let it drop but couldn’t somehow. “I don’t think people who…live like you do get that.”

“How do I live?”

“In the moment.”

He didn’t say a word; he just looked at me.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, you do what you enjoy.”

“I thought you enjoyed playing tennis.”

“I do! Of course I do! But I want to be the best as well.”

“And when you are? What then?”

An irritated laugh burned my throat. “I’ll figure that out then.” It sounded like a question, and I was angry at my lack of confidence as much as at his comments.

“I’ll tell you what’ll happen.” His voice was cynical. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

I stiffened.

“You’ll be waiting for a curtain to fall, but it won’t. Your life will simply go on. It will not be impressed by your having reached your goal. On the contrary. There will be another one. And another one. And another one after that.”

Baffled, I just stared at him. For a few seconds, everything was silent.