Page 66 of The One Where They Fall in Love

“Okay, can we dial down the tough love here, Soph? I’m in the middle of a dog park,” I respond, trying to take down the emotional level of this conversation.

“So yeah, I wanted my brother to be happy,” she continues, ignoring my comment. “I wanted him to be home. Because I missed him. So I got a dog and dumped it on you. How did my plan work out? Do you want to stay in New York?”

Aw, fuck.

SheMiyagi’dme.

My little sisterMiyagi’dme. How the hell am I going to explain this?

“Oliver? Did I lose you?”

“No, I’m here…” I say, my voice fading. “I guess I just never knew you felt all of that. And I’m sorry I left. I missed you too while I was away.”

“No, you didn’t, but it’s fine.”

I take a deep breath. “You’re right, I never stood up to Dad. Because as much as I hated him forcing me into a life that I never said I wanted, I do actually kind of want this life. Or some form of it. My own version of it. Maybe not one where I’m on call every week. But maybe still medicine. I guess I never wanted to deal with his reaction. Being mad at him was easier.”

“So is there a version of it where you stay in New York?”

“I hope so, but it’s not the dog that is going to keep me here,” I say, just as Thor jumps up on the bench beside me. “Alright, it’s the dog and something else.”

*

When I get back to my apartment, I’m exhausted from the verbal beating I just got from my sister. I plop on the couch as Thor takes a drink and rubs himself all over the carpet, trying to dry his face. In the process, he kicks something from under the couch. I bend down to retrieve it, and realize it must be a book that Elle left here from one of her ginormous canvas bags. I flip it over in my hands and fan the pages, then read the back of it. It’s about a princess of a small country who falls in love with her American bodyguard. They can’t be together because she has to marry someone of nobility.

I flip through the book and stop at the Acknowledgements when I see Elle’s name. The author thanked her for supporting her on her writing journey. A sense of pride blooms in my chest. Supporting someone on their journey—sounds completely accurate, knowing Elle.

That’s how I find myself laying on my couch, on the pillow that still smells like Elle, reading a romance novel. It makes me feel closer to Elle than I have in weeks. Knowing that she helped create this, that it’s something she’s passionate about, makes me want to absorb every word.

It’s not as cheesy as I thought it would be. I thought it would be like the Hallmark movie Henry tried to summarize for me, but really, it’s about a girl who is trying to figure out who she is and where she fits in the world. It’s about acouple who are told they can’t be together, but realize the alternative is unacceptable.

By the end of the book, the princess makes the government repeal the law that says she has to marry someone royal, and she marries the bodyguard. She basically says,“This is what I’m doing. If you have a problem with it, suck it.”That was my favorite part.

I read the entire thing in one sitting. It’s supposed to be an uplifting story, but really all it does is make me miss Elle more. But it also gives me a sense of hope, because even though the princess gets to marry the guy she loves, they don’t know what their future is going to look like. The princess makes a whole speech saying that she doesn’t have everything figured out about how their relationship will work, but she loves him, so the rest of it doesn’t matter.

I snap the book closed and toss it to the other side of the couch.

I hate how Sophia was right. Since I’ve been home, not only did I get to meet someone as amazing as Elle, but I also feel more content in the state I grew up in than I have in a long time. When you’re young, and dreaming of changing the world, maybe it doesn’t always occur to you that being away from the world you know can be so demoralizing. Over the last few months, I have made connections that make me feel like a human again. I’ve fallen in love.

Maybe I don’t need to have every part of my life plan ironed out at once. Maybe I don’t have to figure it out by myself. And maybe now I can admit to myself that I don’t want to. Elle has seen me struggle and supported me the entire time. I don’t know what’s next, but I know I want to figure it out with Elle by my side.

Henry is right. I need to make a plan.

I’m going to show Elle that I’m permanent. I’m here to stay.

The next day, I email my supervisor at the hospital and ask for a meeting at his earliest convenience. I send it before I can change my mind. I feel like I might throw up once I do, but it’s done. I need to make some changes. Radical ones. I need to take control of my life, because I don’t want my father’s.

The next thing I do is Instagram-stalk theshitout of Lucy.

I don’t want to call or text Elle and I know she hasn’t been home for the last few days. Is the wedding this weekend? Should I not bother Lucy the week of her wedding?

Screw it. She’ll understand.

I find Lucy’s “bookstagram” account (didn’t know that was a thing) and message her. She replies within a few minutes.

Lucy

THANK GOD