Page 41 of The One Where They Fall in Love

“Okay, okay,” Elle’s voice sounds rushed, the complete opposite of the voice in my memory. “Just breathe,” I hear her say as she moves away from me. I can feel the imprint that her hands left behind.

She returns seconds later and takes my hands. I close my eyes again, breathing deeply. “Hold this,” she says, placingsomething cold in my hand. The sensation shocks me, and my eyes fly open.

“Wh—Why?” I stutter. She closes my hands around an ice cube and lifts them to my heart.

“I actually have no idea, but apparently it’s supposed to help,” she says.

“Well it’s just fucking cold, so I don’t know what it’s doing for me.”

“You’re not shaking anymore, so that’s progress.”

I lean my head against my knees, trying to slow my breathing. Elle is running her fingers through my hair, her nails gently massaging my scalp. Her other hand is holding my shoulder and it is so steadying, sosure, that I feel like if she lets go, I’ll fall over.

“Tell me something you feel,” she commands.

“The cold ice cube you just gave me, dummy,” I reply.

She flicks my shoulder. “Something else.”

“Your hands. They’re warm.”

“Now tell me something you hear,” she says, putting her hand back on my shoulder. She kneads circles into my muscle and my breath hitches.

“Thor licking himself,” I mutter. Elle snorts and I can’t help but smile. “I know this trick,” I add, calling her out.

“Yeah, well, it’s working, isn’t it?” she says, her fingers finding the side of my face. I let my head lean to the side and inhale sharply when she cups my cheek in her palm. My eyes open and I’m greeted with her brilliant brown ones, so close to me our foreheads could touch. She’s kneeling down on the floor in front of me, holding me. Her hair is wet, her cheeks flushed. She gently takes the hand away that was stroking my hair. “Tell me something you see,” shewhispers, her gaze flicking back and forth between my eyes and my mouth.

“The gold outline around the brown in your eyes,” I whisper shakily, the lids of my eyes drooping as our eyes meet. Elle’s hand lands on my forearm, and I’m transfixed by the way she grips it. I can’t stop looking at her. Every stitch of panic is gone from my body, but I’m still frozen.

I lean my head close to hers and drop my gaze to her mouth, and once I see her take a small breath between her small pink lips, the energy shifts between us. Our eyes don’t move for a while, but it’s Elle who finally breaks our gaze.

She looks down for a moment, and then jumps backwards as Thor barks loudly behind us.

Elle tumbles backwards from her kneeling position, and Thor abandons his post at the window, where I’m sure a pigeon was threatening our safety and demanding to be barked at. Thor clearly thinks Elle is playing with him by the way he gallops over to her and puts his front two paws on her chest. She giggles as Thor licks her face and starts digging in her hair. When she sits up, I see that her face is red from laughing, and I let out a nervous laugh, shaking my head at the situation. This day has really gone off the rails.

Elle pulls Thor onto her lap and flips her hair behind her, threading her fingers through the wild curls that Thor just knotted. I hold my hand out to Thor and he sniffs the ice cube suspiciously, before grabbing it and carrying it over to his favorite spot on the corner of the area rug. He tosses it in the air a few times, jumping into playing position each time it lands on the floor. Elle and I watch him, laughing hysterically when he dives into the carpet and ends up with his legs in the air. Eventually he settles downand starts chomping on the ice cube. That’s when Elle turns her attention back to me.

“You know I gave you that key for emergencies,” I say, eyeing her.

“We’ve been at the park all day and then it started pouring so we ran back. I knew I was out of treats this morning, but it totally slipped my mind to stop at the store.”

I raise a brow at her.

“That qualifies as an emergency in my book,” she admits, raising her hands at me. I roll my eyes at her seriousness. She studies me for a moment. “So what brought this on?” she asks, gesturing to me and folding her legs underneath her. She holds onto her ankles and sits up straight, like she is doing a yoga pose.

I should feel embarrassed about what just happened. I should apologize for Elle finding me like this, although she did come into my apartment unannounced, using the key I gave her foremergencies. I should try to recover this situation somehow, but I don’t really know what I can do. She just witnessed me at my absolute worst, for thesecondtime. That’s more than any person I’ve ever dated has seen me break down. And Elle isn’t running for the hills.

Of course she isn’t,banana head, you’re not dating.

I rub my hand on my forehead, trying to get my story straight in my head.

“Family dinner, always a triggering time,” I say. As if there aren’t enough reasons that I feel like my life is in a spiral, seeing my parents and being reminded of the toxic relationship with my father just adds another layer to the dysfunction. I come with too much baggage. Elleshouldrun for the hills.

“I get that,” she says, nodding. “Want to talk about it?”

“Never. I guess that’s half of my problem,” I reply, hanging my head. Elle purses her lips at me, but I know she won’t push me. I wrap my hand around my neck, wondering what must be going on in Elle’s mind. She really got a handful when she decided to camp outside my door that night. “Where did the ice cube thing come from?”

She doesn’t answer right away, turning her attention to Thor for a moment before speaking. “I don’t know. In my research for yoga or my brother or something,” she says with a shrug.