Page 37 of The One Where They Fall in Love

“I’m just tired of being alone,” I finally whisper. I gulp down the knot in my throat after the words leave my lips.I’m tired of being there for everyone else and no one showing up for me.

“Oh, Elle—” A knock at the door interrupts whatever she was about to say. Thor erupts into a barking tantrum.

“I’ve got to go, Luce. Henry is here. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say.

“I love you babe,” Lucy yells at the phone, as if to stop me from hanging up.

“Love you too,” I reply, and end the call.

I don’t let myself think about what she just said. Henry is nice and he does not deserve to be left standing at my door. I stand at the entrance to my apartment and put one hand on my heart and one on my belly, and breathe in deep. I exhale as I open the door.

*

“Favorite food?”

“Chinese, definitely,” I answer easily.

“Dessert?”

“Chocolate chip cookies.”

“Beach or mountains?” Henry asks, taking another bite of his chicken.

Oh for the love of God, I feel like I’m on a dating game show.

Lucy has ruined this date for me. She’s put thoughts in my head about doing what is right for me and not settling and I can’t shake them.

“Beach,” I say. “Unless it’s going to the mountains to visit my friend Lucy,” I add, regretting that I now have to go into the whole Lucy and her mountain man story.

I feel bad calling Henry “settling,” but this feels like work. I’m putting on my “Third Date Elle” face, laughing at all the right moments, being dainty about my napkin on my lap, and even letting Henry touch my hand from across the table. With another glass of wine, I would probably gohome with him. But with Lucy’s voice echoing in my head, not even an extremely attractive buff guy can do anything for my libido.

Henry is great. He is. He’s just not—

I don’t want to finish that thought. But I can’t help the slew of images that flood my brain of my time with Oliver. Most days he sees me without makeup, unlike the full cat-eye look I put on for tonight. Sometimes I’m not even wearing a bra. I never feel like I’m pretending with him. I’m just me. I feel like I know more about him than I could glean on a thousand dates with Henry, and I didn’t get that information from endless trivia questions. I can’t blame Henry. He is doing what people do on a date. He’s trying to get to know me. I just don’t have the energy for it.

But I’m nothing if not a people pleaser, so I schmooze my way through dinner, all the while trying to find something that I really like about Henry. In fairness, there’s a lot to like. Family oriented. Cute. Funny. Doesn’t judge when I order an appetizer and an entrée for myself, and neither of them are salads. And yet, my mind keeps drifting to a guy who clearly stated that he wants different things than me.

Henry walks me back to my apartment again, and I spend the whole time thinking about how I just want to put my pajamas on and cuddle with Thor. Then I feel terrible for that thought. Henry shouldn’t settle for me either. He walks me to my door and there’s an awkward moment of expectation between us. When neither of us says, we both laugh nervously.

“Listen, I—”

“I had a—”

We smile sheepishly at each other for a moment. This is ridiculous. This man is great. Perfect, even. If there was a listfor a man I should be inviting up to my apartment, he would check all the boxes. Why can’t I just be attracted to him?

I start to speak, catch myself, and then take a step towards Henry. “Can I just—” I put my arms around his neck tentatively. My fingers find the hair that trails down his neck and run my fingers through it. How long has it been since I’ve been pressed up against a man? And this is a nice man! I want towillmyself to feel something…

“I just want to try something here, if that’s okay,” I say, running a thumb along his jaw. Henry nods. I bring my lips to his and kiss him firmly. He’s surprised at first, but quickly tightens his arms around me and splays his hands over my back. His lips are soft, and the kiss is tender and gentle. Our lips move together like they’re supposed to but…

I pull away, leaving Henry and his puckered lips frozen in time. I purse my own and furrow my brows, a bit frustrated. Henry awkwardly opens his eyes and says, “Well? Good experiment or…”

My arms are still around him, his hands low on my waist. It was a nice kiss. I mean, the best one I’ve had in a few years, but I don’t feel anything.

“Let me try again,” I say, really trying to push myself into the kiss. I slide my tongue between his lips, which should instantly get some reaction between my legs, and yet, there’s no fireworks.

Damn, I hate it when Lucy is right.

I pull back, settling down from my tippy toes and laying my hands on Henry’s chest. “What do you think?” I ask him.