Page 19 of The One Where They Fall in Love

“A lot of reasons. Because they’re my favorite type of books. Always have been. And because the world could use some more happily ever afters. Or at the very least, people who believe in them.”

He studies me for a moment, and I’d love to let the words“What are you thinking?”slip out of my mouth. But I hold my tongue. Because I’m not supposed to wonder what he’s thinking. I’m not supposed to wonder anything about him, except how best to annoy the crap out of him.

“And that’s what you believe in? Happily every afters?” he asks. I almost laugh at the words “happily ever after” coming out of Oliver’s mouth. It’s an odd thing to hear him say, especially while he is wearing that hat.

I consider if I should be truthful with him. Saying you want an HEA like a Disney princess usually doesn’t do anything except scare guys away. As women, we’re taught to play it cool in case the guy is afraid of commitment. Then, maybe they will stay with us long enough for us to change their mind. I try my best not to subscribe to this theory. But that still doesn’t stop me from pausing when Oliver asks this question. Do I want him to think I’m an all-or-nothing girl?

I mentally scoff at myself. I’m many things, but I’m not a hypocrite—or a coward. I am very much myself, even if myself means being the hype girl and never the maincharacter. I don’t lie about who I am or what I want. I think it goes back to those nights looking at the sky with my dog, feeling small and unimportant. It reminds me that our world is too small, too fleeting, to be anything but honest.

“Yes,” I say firmly. “That’s my business: happily ever after. And I’d love to have one in my own life, too. Someday.”

Oliver nods. He doesn’t speak for a moment, so I take a chance. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asks, clapping his hands to get Thor’s attention.

“What’s your take on happily ever afters?”

Oliver looks away from me, but surprisingly, he doesn’t laugh. “I don’t think that will be for me. Not anytime soon anyway.”

My chest deflates a little. I try to ignore it.

“Why’s that?” I ask in my best casual tone.

“I’m not the kind of guy girls like to settle down with,” he says, and I scrunch my brows. When he sees the confusion on my face, he adds, “I—uh—I have really bad OCD, and it’s pretty much ended all of my relationships.” He stretches an arm around his neck, rubbing it with his hand. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Because I asked,” I reply plainly. Something twinges in my chest at his confession, at the fact that he felt he could trust me with it. “If those women couldn’t appreciate you for who you are, OCD and all, then they probably weren’t worth your time anyway,” I add, giving him a soft smile.

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he says, disbelief on his face.

“Don’t get used to it,” I reply, giving him a side-eye.

“Plus, I can’t imagine being in a relationship right now. Just moving here, my job—” He stops short and drags a hand down his face, an exasperated sigh escaping through his fingers.

“What’s wrong with your job?” I ask. “Other than the absurdly long hours, of course.”

“It’s… complicated, but it just feels like it was forced upon me. Sure, I love medicine, but I don’t know if I love practicing it. And I don’t have the best relationship with my dad because of it.” He pauses, drumming his lips. I can tell he’s reluctant to talk about this, but he is anyway, and I appreciate that. It seems hard for him, so I put on my best supportive face.

“Everything in my life is so chaotic right now that I can’t think ahead to the next few weeks, let alone consider a long-term relationship.” He shakes his head as soon as the words leave his mouth. He’s uncomfortable, and definitely looking for a way out of the conversation. He bends down to pet Thor and won’t meet my eyes. “Don’t you have to leave for work?” he asks, finding a way to change the subject.

I check the time on my phone, and yes, I do. But I feel bad ending this conversation too early. Part of being a hype girl is being a good listener. It’s ingrained in me. But I also like to respect people’s boundaries, and I don’t want to push past Oliver’s when we’ve just had the most civil conversation in recent memory. I hand Oliver the leash and we start the walk back to our building.

I can’t help but feel a sort of grief as we walk away from the park, like I lost something while I was there. I know Oliver and I started out at odds, but since I started watchingThor, we’ve formed a weird partnership of sorts. Maybe the beginning of a friendship? I thought, maybehoped, that there could something else between us. I don’t think I imagined the way we looked at each other some days, but maybe fleeting attraction was all it was. Oliver has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want anything serious. And as Lucy once told me, when a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, he’s rarely lying.

So we continue to be at odds after all.

Ten

Oliver

“Sometimes I can’t believe I’m really back in New York,” I blurt out as we turn onto Central Park West. It’s early in the morning, but cars and yellow cabs are honking obnoxiously and there are sirens in the distance. The sounds of the city don’t follow the same timeline as everyone else. Much like medical residents, the city doesn’t have a sleep pattern.

“What do you mean ‘back’?” Elle asks, trying to fall into step with my long strides.

“I grew up here, but I lived in California for eight years. I went there for college and medical school,” I explain, glad the conversation has shifted from what she asked me in the park, and my awkward confession.

“Why did you come back?”

“Residency. You have to go where you get accepted.” She nods, considering this. “It’s not my favorite place,” I add with a shrug.