Page 48 of See You at the Sunset

“Yeah, that’s important.”

“He probably knows to do that, though, no? I mean, Dennis doesn’t have any issues with his memory, does he?” Jia asked. “You think maybe this is too much?”

Henry looked back at the list. Everything on there felt important. He’d also cross-referenced much of it into a calendar format. “It’s just for reference. I don’t want him to get overwhelmed with everything he has to do and forget.”

“I’m just saying. My parents do this to me all the time. Try to, well, control how I live my life. Down to the minutiae. It’s stifling. I’m an adult. And, Henry? So is your granddad. Give him some credit. I know you’re trying to help. But don’t, in your best efforts at love, end up taking away his freedom.”

Henry stared at her. He opened his mouth to respond, but he couldn’t think of what to say. He battled the irritation of her overstepping with the deep pull of shame. He wanted to defend himself and his intentions while apologizing for going about it the wrong way. But also, she didn’t know Dennis. She didn’t know how both he and his granddad had the trauma of Henry’s flighty parents always hovering over them. How when shit didn’t get done, it ended up often hitting the fan.

Maybe this was why Jia couldn’t cut it at Bakerson’s Group. She needed to be more detailed, organized, meticulous,overprepared. But he knew that wasn’t fair for him to say to her, even if he was thinking it. It would be a low blow.

“Thanks for the advice. But I know my granddad, and this is what he needs.” His voice was sharper than he’d meant it to be.

Jia nodded and didn’t say another word.

Henry thought about asking Jia if she wanted to meet up sometime when they were both back in the city. He thought about asking when she’d next be in Palm Springs and maybe they could coordinate visits. He considered various different ways that he could see her again.

But if this time in the desert with his grandfather and with the people at The Sunset all trying to creep into his heart had taught him anything, it was this: Life was easier without the worry, fear, anxiety, desire, or warmth of caring about anyone other than yourself.

Henry needed to get back on familiar, solid footing and shut everything and everyone else out.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Henry pulled it out to answer. He froze when he saw the name.Elliot Shin.NotDad. Because as far as Henry was concerned, he didn’t have a dad, or a mom. They were just Elliot and Katie, nuisances at best. Why was he calling now? But if Henry didn’t answer, he knew Elliot would direct his efforts to Dennis next.

“Excuse me. I have to get this,” he said to Jia. He stood up and walked out into the main room and over to the more private library.

“What do you want?” he said into the phone.

“Henry, how you doing? Good? It’s been too long. Listen, Mom and I are on our way down from Toronto to hike the Appalachian Trail. Thought about stopping in the city to see you, son.” It was how they did things. Acted like thingswere always okay and relationships had never been severed. Softening up communications before laying on the request for money, justa little extra help.

“I’m not in town. Can’t make it,” Henry answered.

“Well, that’s too bad. Would have liked to see you.” Henry waited for the inevitable ask. “Listen, your folks are a little short on cash this month, and we’ll need to stock up on supplies for our extended trip. It’s a rough journey, and we could use some equipment—”

Henry gripped the phone so tightly he worried it would break. “We’re not doing this, Elliot. I’m not sending you anything. And don’t even think about asking Dennis. Do you understand me?”

“Now, now, no need to get irritated. Just think about it, and give us a call if you change your mind. We could really use the help.”

Henry hated how they always turned it on him, making him out to be the asshole.

“I’m hanging up now,” he warned. And he did just that.

He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. Interactions with his parents always brought out the worst in him. Because they were the worst.

He’d have to warn Dennis, yet again, not to take their calls and definitely not to send them any money. He just knew Dennis wouldn’t listen, though. Henry looked back into the office where he’d left Jia and his stupid lists and his stupid calendar and his stupid best intentions.

And he wondered when, despite all his best efforts, he had lost control of his tightly held life and considered what he needed to do to get it back again.

“Are you okay?” Jia’s face had her concern written all over it.

She didn’t ask ifeverythingwas okay. She asked ifhewas. Something about that struck him so hard he had to stop and put his hand against the doorway to gain his balance. Henry hated the vulnerability of being perceived by other people. But with Jia, he craved it.

And that had the ability to bring him to his knees. He had no doubt that she would one day kill him with her kindness if he let her.

“Yeah, I’m okay” was all he could say in response. It was all he was going to give her. But it was more than he’d ever given anyone else.

19

Jia closed out of her Zoom call and sat staring at the now-blank screen.