Page 69 of You'll Be the Death of Me

The protective undertone of his voice sent a pleasant tingle up Dell’s spine. She gave him a sly grin. “Is there someone you could talk to about that? You know, on the...other side?”

He may have been an adamant rule follower, but his eyes said he’d willingly cross the line if it meant coming to her defense. “There might be some calls I could make,” he said, and straightened his tie.

“I’d appreciate it,” Dell said, knowing he wouldn’tactuallyhave her ex zapped out of existence but enjoying the thought of it anyway. “So, if sidestepping my own murder isn’t the wrong turn, where does that leave us?”

“Well, tied to that situation, there is what you’ve discovered about your tendency to pressure yourself into success and achievement.”

She sourly frowned, not liking this lesson. She prided herself on her achievements, but she could admit she got carried away sometimes. “Okay, fine. Yes, I do hold myself to high standards.”

“Impossible, some might say.”

She shot him a look. “Lesson learned to back off conquering the world. What else is there?”

Cole paused, and then spoke cautiously. “Well, there is the news from Jason.”

Dell winced. “Yeah, pretty bad I didn’t realize my own best friend had aspirations higher than following me and my career.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we see people only in the context we know them best. He’s your best friend first and foremost. It’s forgivable his career advancement wasn’t top of mind.”

“Still. I feel bad,” she said, feeling like a deflated balloon. “Let’s walk. I think better when I’m moving.”

“I would be worried if I saw you sitting still,” Cole said, and fell into step beside her.

Saturday night in the city glowed and pulsed around them.Cars whizzing down the one-way streets. Cables crackling above them as the buses with accordion centers inched around corners like lumbering caterpillars. Pedestrians out for a good time. The occasional late-night dog walk. Dell should have been cold barefoot and hardly dressed, seeing everyone else was in coats and sweaters, even in summer, but if she wasn’t borrowing someone’s body, the barrier of whatever realm she existed in kept her immune to temperature.

“I also learned two of my closest coworkers are in love,” she said, continuing their task. “I guess I failed to see them outside of their jobs and realize they are full people with full lives. But that doesn’t seem like something worth holding me hostage in purgatory over. I also forgot my parents’ anniversary and to congratulate my brothers on finalizing their new real estate deal.Wow, I’m a jerk. This is not a fun game!” She turned to Cole with a pout.

He let out a little chuckle and placed his hand on her shoulder. His thumb gently traced her collarbone. “Perhaps you could try being a little more observant of the lives around you,” he said.

Dell nodded. The gentle brush of his thumb had her forgetting what she was upset about. The urge to sayyes, sirboiled up inside her. Maybe she was right about him being a teacher of some sort because she’d happily take lessons from him.

He looked at her pouting lip like he might want to bite it. “There’s also what you learned about Robbie,” he said, and, to her dismay, let go of her shoulder.

“Who?” she said, still spinning.

Cole quietly laughed. “Robbie. You know, the poor kid you’ve possessed multiple times now and have probably sentenced to a lifetime of therapy?”

“Oh, right. Robbie,” she said, having not forgotten at all. She’d simply been caught up in the feel of his hand on her skin and the way he was staring at her mouth. “Yes, he turned out to be nothing like Jason and I thought. He’s caring and weirdly sweet and obviously dealing with a difficult hand in life. So I guess the lesson there is don’t judge people until you get to know them?” Her voice pitched up at the end, in hopes voicing this revelation would correct her wrong turn.

But nothing happened.

Cole gave her a half smile, like he’d hoped it would solve their problems too.

“So, to recap,” Dell said, still hoping. “Murderous ex-fiancé, misjudged acquaintance, coworkers in love. Self-inflicted pressure to achieve at everything. Overlooking my best friend’s aspirations. Not paying enough attention to other people’s lives. Check, check, check. What else is there?” She looked to Cole again as if he held the answer.

He reached out and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. His soul-deep eyes were open windows she wanted to dive through. “Perhaps we should circle back to where we started this conversation: Are you happy?”

Could that really be it?she thought. Was her wrong turn that she’d veered off course from her own happiness at some point? She certainly had everything she needed in life—and a list of impressive accomplishments for someone so young. But had doing all that come at the expense of evenconsideringif she was happy? She honestly hadn’t ever paused long enough to think about it. Sure, she liked her life, and was very proud of all the things she’d done. Cooking and feeding people brought her joy, but when she thought about it, so many of the other thingsin her life—the restaurant, the book, her house, her engagement, her stake in her family’s company—felt a lot like checking boxes. And in checking all those boxes, she was only living for the next box. The target was always moving, and if she kept setting the bar higher and higher and never actually reached it, would she ever be satisfied? Would she everfeelaccomplished? Would she ever be... happy?

The heavy thoughts felt like too much to carry on her own. She looked back at Cole with an expression of pure honesty. “I don’t know,” she told him.

She watched his face crack with an ache that slowly spread. His eyes said he wanted to both answer the question for her and be the solution. He gently took her hand.

“Are you happy right now?” he asked.

She considered.

Having dinner had made her happy, not just for the menu, but for getting to talk to Cole while they were locked in the freezer and learn more about him. The hustle and bustle of the city around them was making her happy. The way Cole automatically walked on the street side of the sidewalk nearer to traffic, as if a reckless car could do any damage to their ghostly bodies, was making her happy. Holding his hand was certainly making her happy.