Page 69 of You'll Love it Here

Sami’s brow shifts up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just... I need to use the, um...”Whatdo I need to do? I can’t say I need the bathroom since they obviously have one here, and I don’t want Sami thinking I need to specifically go to my own bathroom if I can avoid anything that leads to him picturing me sharting this early on in our friendship. “I, um, just remembered I left my straightener plugged in and now it’s all I can focus on.”

I haven’t used a straightener in years—my hair is fully curly right now—but thankfully the handy anxiety of forgetting to unplug it still lives in my bones for when I need it.

“Right.” Sami nods hesitantly. “I can take notes. Go take care of that.”

“Perfect! Back in a sec.” I rush out the door and my feet poundthe pavement. I make it to the building just as Lana and her crew are finding their way through the front vestibule. “Hello!” I call and wave politely.

Lana startles before pasting her plastic smile on her face. “And this is the manager with the key now!” She barely hides her wince at my obvious panting. “Mona, are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry I missed the messages, but I’m here now.” I put out my hands to the man and woman who stand together in similarly beige-shaded blazers. “I’m Mona.”

“Mona, these are my incredible clients: Robin and Missy,” Lana introduces.

I shake each of their hands. “Let’s get that furnace room opened.”

Twenty-one minutes later, and I’m having what could be a nervous breakdown. My hair is stuck to my forehead, and my mouth is dryer than a bag of cotton balls. But still, Robin and Missy are standing around, casually chatting in the front vestibule of the building.

After leading these beige-clad drones through the furnace room, they insisted on seeing every other room in the basement. They also suddenly wanted to see my apartment, where Ernest ended up stealing the show, before then deciding that yes, they would like to go back to Irene’s place. Every time I tried to leave them and Lana, they seemed to find a new way to keep me from doing so. Asking me if I liked living here, and the demographics of the tenants. If it weren’t for the party I was both hosting and ditching, I suppose their endless questions would be reassuring. Their interest in the tenants probably means Robin and Missy want to preserve at least some of the current leases.

Lana, likely sensing my angst, tried several times to let me go, but she couldn’t exactly tell Missy or Robin to fuck off when they asked if I liked the neighborhood.

Sami has sent me several inquiring texts, and I even got one from Jane, but they stopped coming in five minutes ago, which means I need to get back there ASAP.

Finally, after cracking a joke about ROI that wasn’t even a little droll, Robin finally says something good: “Well, I think this about marks our time. We’ll be in touch.” Missy nods at his side—she’s been doinga lotof nodding.

“Thank you so much for coming by!” Lana starts her handshake tour.

And when Robin comes to shake my hand once again, my stomach drops. Because behind his head, I catch a view out the front window. It appears that both Carmen and Norm are making their way up the sidewalk.

Fuck.

I’m going to shit my pants.

Missy takes my hand, the final handshake in our round robin, before they start to move toward the lobby door—where they’ll run directly into Carmen and Norm. So I yell, “The back alley! You guys can’t leave without checking out the hidden gem back there.”

Lana furrows her brows together. “I’m sure they can picture the back alley, Mona.” Her voice is lighthearted, but layered with a terrifying undertone.

“Not this one! Come on, Robin! Let’s go, Missy! I’ll race you!” Then I actually start running.

And Robin and Missy look at each other before jogging after me.

Finally, I get Missy and Robin safely off the premises without detection. I’m not proud to say I spent over seven minutes showing off the fire escape, and discussed where the wires meet the building, and other useless fucking things. When I make it back inside the diner, the place has pretty much cleared out. Soft acoustic music is playing from the jukebox, while Sami is carrying a roundtray full of spent glassware to the back, his arm muscles working overtime. Fighting Couple are just leaving, holding hands as they ease out the booth. Marcus grabs his lanyard of keys and stuffs it into the pocket of his khaki pants.

I wave my goodbyes to them and take a seat at the counter. “Hey, Sami, I’m so sorry about that—shit, I missed it all?”

His expression is worried. “Everything okay?” He rubs his hair back and it falls over his eyes a moment later.

“Yeah, I just, I was feeling a little queasy when I got home. Maybe I need to drink more water in life.”

“Come and sit. We have water to hydrate you, and I was just making myself dinner.” His voice is lighter now.

I take the stool across from him. “This is starting to be my favorite seat.”

The sincere grin fills his whole face, all the previous concern fading away. “You’re starting to be my favorite customer.”

“Bet you say that to everyone.”