Page 113 of I Hope This Finds You Well

He looks down at his lap. “When my grandma got hurt, I wasn’t there. I don’t want to go through that again. I like being back here with her and Grace. That’s more important than the crappy jobs I take to earn a living.”

I shake my head. “Feeling good about what you do is important too. Taking care of yourself is important.”

“I’m not as brave as you, Jolene.”

I almost laugh at the absurdity. “Me? Brave?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re fucking brave. If what happened in the boardroom that first day we met happened to me—to anyone—they would’ve run away.” His eyes tug toward me, a current flickering behind them. “But that first day, when I adjusted your computer and everyone stared at you, you somehow managed. You kept going. And it’s not just that. You’ve helped other people too. Greg told me how you helped Rhonda with the Morale Boosters and taught her all the computer stuff.”

“Please, stop.” It’s like he’s laying out a play-by-play of all my deceptions—all the times I could’ve chosen a more honest path but didn’t.

He huffs. “I’m just saying, I’m not staying to try and save you. You can do it yourself.” Guilt swaddles inside me, but Cliff keeps his gaze on me. “And when I thought you might like Armin—when you wanted to stop being friends—of course it hurt, but it was also a relief, because that meant I could get over my feelings for you.” His fingers twitch on the console. “I went all in on my mission—even tried going on a date...” We exchange a sheepish stare as I remember the theater and Silvia. “Because if I didn’t have feelings for you, I wouldn’t have to leave.”

My breath hitches. I look up sharply. The air between us feels charged, like tinder about to ignite.

“And were you able to get over them?” My voice is tiny. I don’t know if I can handle the answer.

But he doesn’t have to say anything. The answer is in the heat of his gaze. The answer is in the swoop of my chest.

“I have to, Jolene,” he finally says. “For now, I’m still HR.”

I nod, leaning an inch backward. He leans back too. We both look straight ahead, sinking into resignment.

“Jolene,” Cliff says, gently. “Maybe if one day our circumstances are different—when one of us isn’t at Supershops anymore... Maybe we can get shakes again then? I mean, only if you want to.”

I want that, so much. But it’s too late to start over, at least for me. I’m still a liar.

I try to sidestep it with a joke. “Cliff, that’s never going to happen. We both have excellent jobs at a wonderful company.”

I think I feel his eye roll more than see it.

Biscuit barks, cutting through the tension. We both look toward him in the back seat, where he’s happily panting. I give him a little scratch on his chin, silently grateful for the interruption.

“I should get inside,” I say.

Cliff nods. “Big day tomorrow. You’ll finally be free of me and all the HR propaganda.”

“I’ll never be free at Supershops.” I force a smile and reach for the door handle. Starting tomorrow, I’m not going to read a single email that isn’t in my inbox. I’m going to be perfect.

As I’m stepping onto the street, Cliff leans toward the passenger side to look up at me. “Jolene,” he calls, “if I’d never met you, this would’ve been the worst job I ever had.”

My neck flushes as I lock eyes with him. “Cliff, of all the anti-harassment courses in the world, I’m glad I stumbled into yours.”

His chuckle breaks my heart.

When his car pulls away, I say out loud, “I like you so much.”

I take a few steps toward the foyer when Miley calls, “Little late there! I knew he was your boyfriend.”

I slam the door to my apartment closed a little too hard.

Party in the Boardroom

It’s almost eleven by the time I make it to the office. I pass through the rotating lobby doors and my heart stops. Because standing in front of the security desk is Kyle. He’s red-faced, his phone pressed to his ear as he has a heated conversation with the front desk worker.

It’s impossible to know what happened between Caitlin and him last night, but his presence here cools my blood. I should call the police. No, I can’t report him for just standing in the lobby and being generally horrible.

If he’s here, that must mean Caitlin’s here too. She’s probably upstairs. I should warn her.