Page 30 of Night Songs

We’re just pretty little ladies

It’s a miracle we can sing this song

Hess and I laughed like madwomen right there onstage, we were so high and relieved they liked it.

The next day, there were a few more people in the tent, and we played it again, and at the next show, there were a few more. By the weekend, wehad a real crowd. The announcer, who now felt a part of our act, delivered his line like a clown in a show. It was a little slapstick for my taste, but the audience loved it.

When we stepped off the stage at the end of the set, Clayton was waiting for us with his arms crossed.

“No one told me you were doing new material.”

Hess jumped in to explain, but he put a hand up.

“It’s a great song. Where’d you get it from?”

“It’s ours, sir.”

He studied us for a moment and clicked his tongue against his teeth. “I want you all to play before me now, in the evenings. Just that song.”

I thought I might swallow my own heart.

8lulabelle

1967

FIFTEEN YEARS LEFT

It was the Fourth of July, and we were in some backwater corner of Mississippi.

That night, Clayton had invited me onstage to sing a duet with him, and the crowd had loved it. He didn’t curl his voice around mine like Hess did. He sang ahead, and the sound demanded I follow.

When the show had ended, the whole touring crew had herded from the grounds to a local park for a cookout with the rest of the town. The charcoal smoke hung heavy in the humid air, wrapping us in its primal smell.

Hess and I sat with the rest of the musicians in a circle of lawn chairs, eating hotdogs and jamming idly. Clayton approached and asked if he could speak with me privately, and we wandered off toward the pines lining the park on one side.

“Did you know I grew up in Amos?” he asked.

“No shit!” The words were out before I could look them over.

He smirked at me. “I thought you might know it. Where’d you say you were from?”

My blood went cold. I’d fed him the same “little holler” line I’d given everyone else, even Hess. Most people in Nashville didn’t knowor care about the tiny hamlets in the mountains, and no oneeverasked me which one.

Was it possible he knew who I was? What I’d done?

He saw me hesitate and smiled reassuringly. “It’s no matter. Your business is none of mine.” He put more of his real accent into the last phrase, like he was slitting a finger and wiping his blood across the words. A pact.

“What I’m saying is I see myself in you. I think you could be a big star. And I want to help make that happen.”

I eyed him, wondering if I could trust his word. He was like a chameleon, always shifting personas to blend in and get what he needed. We understood each other in that way, which was why I wasn’t sure I could trust such a person. But did I have a choice?

“That’s very kind of you. Could you introduce us to your producer, or someone at your label?”

He paused, considering his words. “I deeply admire Hess. I think she’s a lovely girl and a gifted performer.” He took a deep breath. “But she’s not you. She doesn’t have your voice, or your magic. I’m interested in helping you, andonlyyou.”

“But… you don’t understand. She and I are a team. I’m only good because she’s up there with me.”

“What about our duet tonight? She wasn’t there then, and you lit up the stage. I know it’s hard to accept because she’s special to you, but that’s the reality of this business. Not everyone gets to be a star. And you have to make sacrifices if you want to make it. I know from experience.”