Page 124 of Night Songs

I took a sip, and it didn’t taste like the memory. It tasted like pennies and white sugar, and I thought,Good, let it be ruined.

A twig cracked nearby, and I jerked my head toward it. The silhouette of a man in a white suit, shining as if it had its own light source, appeared at the edge of the park, and stood, unmoving.

Watching.

Waiting.

My birthmark burned across my chest, and I imagined how I might escape. I could climb the fence behind me and run in the opposite direction. I saw myself getting lost in the throngs of revelers along Bourbon Street, finding a hotel, curling up in a bed. The man would appear once again in the corner of the room, or out on the balcony, or in the bathroom as I took a shower.

As soon as I was alone again, he would find me. It didn’t matter where I went. I could not stop what was coming.

My only hope was to escape my own body—this fearful, shrinking, claustrophobic shell I’d been carting around for months.

All you have to do is swallow the pills and lie back. Do it. Do it now.

Another silhouette appeared a few feet away, but this one was different—both soft and statuesque in the moonlight. She glowed like a goddess in the murk.

“Oh, thank God,” Hess wheezed. “I’ve been looking for you for hours.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hiding the bottle of sleeping pills beneath my thigh.

“It’s okay. I was just worried.” Hess leaned against the tree and tried to catch her breath. “Are you all right? What happened?”

I eyed the man waiting at the edge of the park. I checked my phone.Forty-five minutes left.

I would tell her whatever was necessary to get her to leave.

“Yes, sorry. I needed to get some air after seeing that tape. But then I got lost and ended up here.”

“Okay…”

“I can meet you back at the rental.”

“But how will you find it?”

“I’ll ask for directions.”

“I’ll just sit here with you. I’m in no rush.”

“I told you—I need to be alone right now.”

Hess didn’t respond and instead sat down next to me. Before I could protest, she said, “I want to tell you about the day before your mother died. The last time I ever saw her.”

“You already told me—”

“But not all the details. Please, humor me.”

I checked my phone again.

Forty-four minutes.

Enough time for a story. Perhaps after she finished, I could get her to leave. I nodded.

Hess continued, “I remember it was a week after she disappeared. We hadn’t left the cabin yet, because I wanted to be there in case she came back. I probably should have taken you somewhere else, but I wasn’t thinking. I was so terrified something had happened to Lou; it was the only explanation that made sense. I knew she’d been struggling, but the woman I knew wasn’t capable of abandoning you like that.

“Then, that morning, there was a knock at the door, and there she was, standing on the porch. She looked rough, like she hadn’t slept or eaten, much less bathed, in days. I took a step forward, and she took a step back. I’d never seen her flinch from me like that.

“I said, ‘Oh my God, Lou! Are you okay? What happened?’