Page 99 of In What World

“She’s over there,” I say. “In the blue shirt.”

“Off I go to change her life,” he says. He does a spin, letting his cape catch some air and float.

38

Priscilla

The last placeI ever expected to find myself again is Jaz Sinclair’s basement. Well, her parents’ basement. They’ve pulled up the carpeting and replaced it with vinyl planks. Where Jaz’s old toys from childhood used to be are now shiny new ones for her sibling’s kids. The TV is mounted to the wall instead of framed in an elaborate DVD-lined case.

What’s still familiar is the way the Sinclairs have gone out of their way to make it feel like the old days, hanging up streamers and inflating golden balloons that spell outCONGRATS, CAST!

“My parents still love to host, as you can see,” Jaz says, right as her mom comes down the stairs with a bowl of Tostitos and dip.

“Just in case anyone gets hungry,” Mrs. Sinclair tells everyone. She wants to be known as Diane, but that’s never going to happen for me. “I have more coming. Just give me a second to get it.”

“We’d better go help her,” I say, moving to follow.

“Don’t,” Jaz warns. “She’s very prideful. Believe me, it won’t be worth the fight she’ll wage, insisting she doesn’t need any help to entertain.”

I flop down onto the sectional, letting out an unexpected yelp at the way my whole body aches from the movement. When Matt asked me to lead the movie, he said it would be serious. And it is. I’m playing an alcoholic at her lowest. What he failed to mention is just how physical the role would be. Every day I’m slamming into walls or falling down a set of stairs. And because it’s an indie, it’s me doing all the stunt work.

Even though my every muscle and joint hurts like hell, it’s a good pain. A living-my-dreams pain.

“Whew. I’m old,” I say, standing again. If I stay sitting for too long, I’ll never want to get up.

Dallas sashays down the stairs. “Did I just hear you say you’reold?”

I zip my lips and throw away the imaginary key.

Other cast members fill in the gaps, forming conversation groups as Mrs. Sinclair offers drinks and new bowls of food.

It’s all so familiar and yet so strange. Time has moved the needle far too quickly. There’s no way we’re sixteen years older than we were the last time we did this. There’s no way we’re somehow back here again.

Impossible things happen everywhere you look. You just have to be lucky enough to notice.

“So many legendary cast parties here,” I say, knowing that in every iteration of my life, save for the one where Marlowe and I didn’t cross paths, what happened in Jaz’s basement during that game of Truth or Dare has defined us.

Marlowe and Jaz exchange a loaded glance. Immediately I recognize that they have some kind of secret between them, aproduct of all the time they’ve spent together doingGrease. I feel a possessiveness over them both. Marlowe is my girlfriend. Jaz is my best friend. What could they be sharing with each other that doesn’t need to involve me, too?

“Did I ever tell you that the Truth-or-Dare kiss was my idea?” I ask Marlowe, knowing full well she has no clue. It isn’t pettiness that motivates me to share. It’s a desire to level our playing ground. No secrets. No deception. She deserves every piece of me, even my oldest secrets.

Somehow, the plan backfires. Jaz and Marlowe exchange yet another look, and I could rip out my own hair—no extensions anymore, so it would be a real risk—just to know what their glances mean.

“Jaz told me,” Marlowe admits.

I swallow back some hurt, my defenses going up as I attempt to take it in stride. “What can I say? I’ve always been wild about you.”

Another loaded glance between Marlowe and Jaz. And then the slightest nod from Jaz, like she is either giving permission or urging Marlowe forth. I get so lost in deciphering it, thinking through the possibilities, that I don’t notice Marlowe lower herself to the ground until she’s already there.

On one knee.

Facing me.

“Wild enough to marry me?” she asks.

“No,” I say right away. But it’s not a rejection no. It’s a disbelief no.

It’s a how-the-hell-is-this-my-life-right-now no.