Page 94 of In What World

“But there’s no part for you,” she says. “Come on, I think we could make happy hour.”

It’s only now that I see her game, right as the slow smile spreads across her lips. The very smile I have to kiss off, leaning over the gear shift as I whisper teasingly, “You little shit.”

“Who, me?” she says as she pulls back into the spot.

“You knew that would make me want to go in,” I say.

“What else was I going to do? Argue with you? When have I ever come out the winner with that?”

“More times than I’ll ever admit,” I say. “And don’t act like what you just did wasn’t a master-level chess move.”

“It absolutely was,” she agrees. “But I wanted to hear you say it.”

“You’re the best there is, Priscilla Covington-French. My number one.”

“That’s right. Andyou’reauditioning for this show,” she says. “Now get in there and break a leg. Any leg. Yours. Theirs. Mine.Massacre the legs. Make your arrival on the Garden Meadows community theater scene unforgettable.”

When I get out of the car, my whole body has turned to static, like my every limb has come back to life after falling asleep. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so scared. Even when traveling through alternate universes. Even stepping in to play Dallas’s role in the show. This is somehow worse, because this is a beginning, and beginnings are always the hardest.

It’s just a door. But it’s also my entire life.

There’s a paper sign-in sheet in the lobby. All I have to do is write down my name. It’s nice, tactical.

Marlowe Jenkins, I scrawl in all caps, just the way I used to do in high school.

I wonder if I can keep this audition list when all is said and done. No matter what, I want to remember that I was here. Against all odds, I tried again.

There might be a Dallas out there who comes to this world to see me. I want to be able to show him the list. He will know then that he can laugh alongside me. He will remember how much of him lives inside of me no matter where he goes.

He will understand that he is dead wrong, andGreaseis a fun musical.

36

Priscilla

Marlowe told meI couldn’t watch her act. She didn’t say anything about the dance call.

It’s in the wide-open rehearsal space, so she sees me as soon as I enter. The look she gives is deadly, but I don’t care. It’s too much fun to watch her all sweaty and committed. She looks fucking great. Too bad for the rest of these arts losers here that she’s mine.

Jaz is also here, and she greets me with much more enthusiasm.You should audition, too, she mouths.

Absolutely not, I mouth back.

My phone starts vibrating. My new agent, Gina, is calling.

I answer, and Gina replies with, “Priscilla?” like there might be someone other than me picking up the phone. I’m about to judge her for it when I remember that answering my phone is the exact kind of task I used to ask Erik to do on my behalf.

“Yep, it’s me!” I say instead. “What’s up?”

“I know you’re still in Iowa, but I have some interesting news. Some director you worked with recently—” She pauseslike she’s reading something. “On a car commercial? He’s secured funding for an indie drama, and he thinks you’d be great for the lead. He said you were so hilarious at the commercial and such a good sport about it that you’re the first person he thought of for the part. He thinks the funniest people are usually the best at the really deep stuff. Those were his exact words.”

It’s a weird mix of emotions, hearing this. I’ve regretted a lot about that shoot. At the same time, I was a professional through and through, and now that professionalism has given me a real opportunity.

“Send me the script,” I say. “I want to read it first.”

“Already in your inbox,” Gina tells me. Then, softer, she says, “I know we’ve only worked together for a few days, so I don’t know how much weight my word holds yet, but I think this could be good for you. There are a few other names already attached to the project. All quality people. This could be that serious project you told me you were looking to find. I really think it’s possible.”

Oh, elusivepossibility.