Page 93 of In What World

Silence is the hardest to work with, because my toolbox has changed. There’s no antagonizing her for the sport of it anymore.

“Please,” I say, shifting on my feet as a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Oh, come on!” someone says from behind me.

It’s Alice, who apparently has been listening in on our conversation. “Sorry, I’m nosy,” she says. “But as soon as Priscilla showed up, it was never going to be anyone else for you. And honestly, has it ever been?” She turns to me. “I’m still sorry about the locker room thing, by the way.”

“I know,” I tell her. “Truly. I’ve never blamed you for that.”

She presses a hand to her heart. “Thank god. Because I really do wake up some nights thinking about how—”

“I don’t remember my life before you were in it,” Marlowe blurts, interrupting us both. “That’s not a version of me I’minterested in, because maybe I wouldn’t have loved theater as much if you weren’t there to push me. Maybe I never would’ve tried so hard to impress Dallas. Or impress you. Everything good about who I am comes from knowing you, and from being around you, and wanting to be better than you some of that time, but now from wanting to be around you.”

“There she is,” Alice whispers before stepping back.

“You jump into things without fear,” Marlowe continues. “Or if you have it, you have this superpower where it doesn’t show at all, and instead, you’re just totally present in the moment, accepting everything that comes your way. I want to be there with you.”

“You see me better than anyone ever has,” I tell her, grabbing her hands. “And I like who I am in your light. I remember to be bolder, and more than that, I remember to stop and think about what it is I really love in this world, because it’s so easy to forget that when you get caught up in other trivial things. But spending time with you has made all of that seem so silly. People matter so much more than work. Like we told each other not too long ago, you are my favorite scene partner. No one has ever taken that title from you, and at this point, they never can. You could be my number one, if you want. That role is yours for the taking.”

“I’d be honored,” she says. “So long as you’ll be mine, too.”

I make a point of taking my phone out of my pocket and showing us both the date. “May 8,” I say. “In case either of us ever needs to find the other somewhere in time. The day we chose our number ones.”

Her eyes are wet with tears. “5-8-2-6.”

“5-8-2-6,” I repeat.

We kiss, to great applause.

A WeekLater

35

Marlowe

My hands won’tstop shaking enough to hold the steering wheel steady.

“Why don’t I just drive?” Priscilla suggests after I veer outside my lane for the third time in as many minutes.

Switching roles does nothing to calm my nerves. By the time she parks, I’ve workshopped what I feel to be a very convincing reason we need to go back to my place.

“I don’t think there’s a part for me in this,” I say, hoping this speech sounds more spontaneous than it is, that somehow in the week since I acted inSpring Awakening, I’ve learned how to make text feel instinctual instead of overpracticed. “Maybe the smart thing to do is wait for them to announce next season’s schedule, and I can see if there’s anything in that lineup that makes more sense. You know? Because if I go in there and do a bad job, that’s the only first impression I will ever get with them. I think it makes much more sense for me to hold off andreallyprepare.”

“Totally,” Priscilla says.

“Yeah,” I reply, forcing myself to nod along to her approval. “It’s not a good idea to go in there.”

“Terrible idea,” she agrees. She checks the rearview mirror, then shifts the car into reverse. “If we leave now, we can get back in time to watch a movie or two. Maybe even three, since you have so much adrenaline.”

“Really?” I ask.

“Or should we go to Tequila Thursday? Alice is insisting we’re both welcome there. And I bet you she brings Jeannie. We’ve gotta see that.” She takes her foot off the brake.

“Whoa, whoa. Hold on,” I say, yelling a bit. “I’m not done deciding.”

She continues backing out. “Seems to me like you are.”

“I might still want to do it.”