Page 41 of That Summer Feeling

“Mason loves coffee!” I told her.

She ignored me.

“He complimented that machine you made me bring.”

This made her look at me, but only to glare.

“YOU AND DARA SHOULD DO THE ROCK CLIMBING WALL TOGETHER,” I yelled over to Mason.

“SURE,” Mason yelled.

Stevie finally took her eyes off the water and granted me the honor of her attention. She had a puzzled look on her face, which was better than nothing and hurt much less than how dismissive she’d been earlier. I could feel her analyzing me, trying to understand why I wanted Mason to hang out with Dara.

Pushing against the current, I stood up so I could switch sides with Mason. That way, he could talk to Dara without needing to scream.

“I’LL ROW,” I told him. I was practically in a middle split to keep from toppling over. The boat did not just rock. It shook so violently from side to side, it was almost taking on water.

“Hey, Garland,” Stevie said tentatively. “You should probably sit.”

“I WANT TO ROW!” I yelled.

“Sit down!” Stevie commanded, right as she herself stood up.

With both of us upright, the swaying went from violent to terminal. Our rowboat tipped over, and all four of us got plunged into the lake.

18

The icy water shocked my system as I spun in the washing machine of the lake. There was only the sharp sting of water in my nostrils and the disorienting feeling of falling while floating. My life jacket shot me upward, and I emerged on the surface with a baptismal gasp.

Mason and Dara popped up next. The three of us bobbed for half a second, coughing up water and fighting off shock, before my stomach somersaulted on its own.

“Stevie,” I whispered. She hadn’t put on a life jacket.

Scrambling, shaking, my fingers fighting my every move, I unbuckled mine so I could go under to look for her.

On a normal day, the lake was relatively clear. The combination of the wind plus the rowboat had sent a current through the water, and all I could see were foggy clouds of bubbles and dirt. I’d swim to the bottom and back to find her, letting mylungs burn and my eyes turn red from willing myself to see her. I’d do whatever it took.

Reaching out as I swam down, my hands collided with the soft tumble of her body. I could feel her panic as she kicked and thrashed. I grabbed her tight, and her frantic scrambling stopped. She stilled enough for me to pull both of us up.

We emerged together, another huge, cleansing breath on both of our lips. I didn’t want to let her go, not even when Mason swam over with my life jacket, giving it to us to hold. Paddling desperately toward the shoreline, I thought of nothing but land and stability and keeping Stevie safe. She shook in my arms, so much more fragile than the Stevie most people got to know.

Andrew and Frank had seen everything unfold. Andrew waded in to help us out of the water while Frank offered each of us a towel.

“Are you all right?” Andrew asked, inspecting both Stevie and me. It touched my heart that his concern was not limited to his sister alone, though I hadn’t earned it, seeing as I was the reason we’d been thrown into the water in the first place.

Stevie didn’t answer him. She just wrapped herself in the towel, shivering, shocked, and silent.

“I’m so sorry,” I told her, only once. It had to be said. More than any other time I’d spoken it. She met my eye with the most soul-piercing flicker, then let her attention drop to the ground. I grabbed a towel and stood trembling beneath it, unable to process all that had happened.

Mason and Dara swam in after us with the rowboat, their shared competence once again highlighted by this event. Ihadn’t even looked back for them. As soon as I’d realized Stevie was under, I’d abandoned the boat and all sense of space and time.

My sister—with the bitter, waterlogged look of a half-drowned rat—huffed her way toward dry ground. I’d made a mess with my recklessness in the exact way she’d taught me not to do. She’d always begged me to stop trying to force good spirits onto people who didn’t want them, because when we made less noise we attracted less attention and we stood a slightly better chance of our parents being in a good mood. But my urge to be different from her always reared its head. I thought if I could just show her how my way worked, she’d understand she didn’t have to be so put together. Hiding our pain wasn’t going to fix anything. Tap-dancing over it sure might make us feel a little better!

No matter how many times it ended in disaster, I could never seem to train myself enough to stop trying. I found myself in trouble spots I could never anticipate. Like overturning a rowboat trying to play matchmaker.

Teeth chattering, Dara completed her self-appointed tasks with her levelheaded diligence, checking off every item on the list before she handled her own comfort. Only after she’d returned the boat to the shed, confirmed that Stevie was okay, and brushed the random dirt and debris off her legs did she walk over to the stack of towels that Frank had set down on the picnic bench and put one around her shoulders.

“I’m going to go shower,” she announced.