Page 93 of Don't Be in Love

I shake my head incessantly. “No, oh my god, no.”

“There’s no point in lying because I do the same thing with Dorian. I get it. It’s hard to sleep sometimes when we see him from afar at these events. Then I don’t stop thinking about him for days.”

What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?

“Sabrina, I’m going to say this as clearly as possible: I am not in love with James, and I’m not interested in James. He is my friend and nothing more.”

Her shoulders softened as if I was in denial. “I saw the way he looked at you on Halloween. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

Probably because I was avoiding his best friend the whole night.

I fell backward into the pile of blankets, giving up.

Her hand patted my knee. “Don’t let your past ruin your future.”

32

Don’t Upset Maureen — Adelaide

Boredom was finally starting to seep in with Mia and Sabrina gone. After two weeks ofThe New Yorker,morning runs in the snow after the sidewalks were cleared, applying to every job possible, and eating the same chicken and microwavable rice for dinner every night, I needed something to do. Iris and Dotty even barred me from working more than forty hours a week.

Would it be inappropriate to reach out to my professors about next semester’s work to get a head start? Probably. But solitude was driving me to consider it. Several times.

Sending that email on Christmas Eve would look rather depressing too.

“Jude Law, you’re so beautiful, but that’s somehow making me feel worse.” I sighed and sunk into the couch further as Jude looked up drunkenly at Cameron Diaz on the TV. Then she tugged on his tie and Jude fell forward.

I used to love this scene. Melt at the way Jude melted.

Now all I pictured was Dorian putting his hand over mine when I adjusted his tie at the movie premiere.

Just because we have a deal doesn’t mean I don’t respect your boundaries.

That’s what he had said, his gaze completely consuming me.

I needed to take a break. This was getting unhealthy.

Pausing Jude Law’s beautiful face, I threw on my coat and boots, grabbed my purse where my telephone booth was hidden away, and braced for the snow.

I couldn’t eat chicken and rice one more time, so I stepped into the sidewalk’s slush and ventured out for food.

Breathing in chilled my throat, forcing out a dry cough. Twilight was starting to hit the sky, despite it only being five o’clock, triggering the streetlamps to switch on. A thin layer of snow topped of each lamp, while the windowsills jutting out of the buildings were catching the falling flakes. They resembled those ceramic Christmas village homes with the tiny bulbs in the windows.

Whereas my poor tree was sagging under the weight.

“Sorry bud.” I patted its frozen bark before walking to the market two blocks down.

By the time I had a box of raw pasta in hand and was walking back, the sky was completely dark and the angelic swirling light designs that the city hung between each building over the streets sparkled at full force.

The warmth of the apartment complex hit me with a gust of wind as I entered the building. Slowly moving up the stairs, I unbuttoned my coat and pulled my keys out. The complex was quiet with so many traveling for the holiday. The sound of my boots hitting the stairs rung out. Unfortunately, our floor still had some neighbors home—

What the hell was he doing here?

At the end of the third floor where my apartment door resided, was Dorian.

“Adelaide, I know you’re home. Mia said you were staying here during holiday, so please just open the door.” Dorian braced the threshold as if he could reason with the door to open.

Even from behind him his presence made my heart hammer. His coat was tossed on the ground, so I was stuck staring at themuscles in his forearms where a black henley sweater was rolled up at the elbow.