Page 16 of Don't Be in Love

Going back to Boston wasn’t an option. I had already fallen in love with London.

The light of the London Eye, the sight of the double-decker buses, the cobblestone corners, the history, thepeople. The people were full of life. Dotty, Iris, Sabrina, and even Drew, the man at the Borough Market who entertained my need to pick out each individual ravioli from his display. The warmth of the art museums, the breeze of the Thames, the chatter of the trees in St. James Park, the hum of the audience in a theatre, the comfort of tea times.

The more I breathed them all in, the less I could handle losing them.

I couldn’t go back home anymore. I didn’t even have anything to go back to.

Professor Hudson continued talking as I opened my planner.

There wasn’t a free day in any of the blocks for the month of September … or October. Each square was filled withWorkor a chunk of an assignment to do to stay on track.

Now I’d have to find somewhere to fill in this assignment. My head was already throbbing at the number of words I’d have to write today.

I looked around the room where students were either on their phones or shopping on their laptops. Not one person looked worried. Yet here I was getting hot, while my hands grew clammy, struggling to grip the pen.

This was worth it. It’d all be worth it. A perfect GPA meant free tuition and getting to stay in London. That much closer to finishing my degree, getting the perfect marketing job, being financially independent, and never having to go home again.

“I’m here!” I shouted to Dotty as I entered the bookstore, using my hip to open the door.

The pile in my arms seemed to grow each time I arrived. “Can you take this?” I held my arm in the air, waving the to-go cups like a flag.

Mia dropped the box in her arms, letting it slam against the floor to run over. I lifted my knee up to catch them as she took the drinks from my hand.

“Good thing we aren’t working in a China shop!” Dotty commented as she peeked into the open box Mia dropped.

Mia smiled innocently at her. “They’re just the books on marketing, it’s fine.”

I shot her a look. “I’m going to start mistreating the books on journalism.”

“I’d thank you, actually. My dad is already on my ass about coursework because I’ve yet to start anything.” She shook her head before taking a sip of her coffee.

I bit down on my cheek to keep my jaw from dropping. She hadn’t startedanything?

I couldn’t imagine my mother ever asking if I had done my work. She never even asked me about school. I was an entity that existed in our house. Another working individual. I tried to see the silver lining about being forced to learn the reality of life early (that it was only as good as you were willing to work) but it still hadn’t made me numb enough in moments like this.

Watching Mia talk with her family on the phone every Monday night, and waving goodbye to Sabrina every time she went out with her dads was the other end of my double-edged sword. If they failed out of Townsen, there was someone to support them. If I failed … well, I didn’t think my aunt was looking to house me for another five years.

There weren’t many opportunities to make friends on campus back home. Everyone was looking to party or drink or step on you to get the best grade. I chatted with girls in class, but I didn’t have the energy to follow up on after-class plans.

Mia and Brina had become the friends I saw in sitcoms and rom-coms. The friends that remembered your birthday, offered you their favorite dresses for a date, and tucked you undertheir umbrellas when it began to rain. But watching them lean on their families for support and reminders of deadlines was … difficult.

“How’s the tea?” I asked Dotty.

She smacked her lips together. “Arnold made it, didn’t he?” Her eyes brightened.

I nodded satisfyingly.

Was it incredibly awkward to request a barista? Yes. But did I know it would make Dotty smile and coerce her into going easy on me for having tutoring sessions during shifts? Of course.

“You’re good.” She pointed her little bony finger at me. “But you didn’t need to get me tea with Arnold’s special goat milk to convince me about letting the handsome fella in—that’s Dorian Blackwood for heaven’s sake!”

“He’s already here?” I asked, my eyes widening. I assumed after how Monday night ended, he’d show up late. I was actually counting on him to not show upat allso I could focus on this new paper. Apparently, I was the only one who found us pressed against a tree together awkward.

“He’s a charming thing too. But I still have a lot of questions as to why you’re tutoring him and not dating him.” Dotty disapproved, according to the woman who never married and didn’t believe in monogamy. Hypocrite.

“Even if I was interested in dating someone as arrogant as him, I couldn’t. Sabrina’s in love with him.” I waved my hand.

Her face fell. A melancholic look swept the corners of her lips.