Page 127 of Don't Be in Love

“What did you say when you told him Sabrina was alright with everything?” she explained.

“Nothing because I didn’t tell him. I haven’t spoken to him since the ball six days ago,” I said.

“So … you two aren’t talking … at all?” Jane asked.

I shook my head.

“Do you plan on it?” Lottie questioned.

I shook my head again.

“Do you want to?” she followed up.

“No.”

“That was an awfully quick answer,” Beatrice muttered.

“There’s no point since I think I’m moving back to Boston after graduation.”

“You’re what?” Mia almost shot out of her seat.

“There’s nothing keeping me here. You’re most likely moving back home, Sabrina is going to Scotland, and I’ll never hear back from these jobs now. Not like I had a chance anyway, no one wants a new grad. I’ve either been ghosted by these companies or sent vague rejections.”

“But you can’t leave. There’s so much for you here. Dorian’s here,” Mia rushed.

“I can’t stay in London for a guy.”

“You wouldn’t be staying in Londonfor him. I think he’d go anywhere for you if you left. But you came to Londonfor you,” Iris explained.

“I don’t think I can.”

No corner of London would be safe. I’d spend every second outside anxious to run into him on the train or the pub down the street.

No train ride or walk home or rainstorm would be ordinary. They’d all be glued to his singular presence. His figure leaning over me or his hand in mine or his wet hair dripping down onto my cheek and his head tilted back as he watched me from my balcony.

I prefer you in every room.

I think there are many things about you that people find attractive, Adelaide.

Tell me to stay.

Then tell me you care for me. Because I care for you.

I’d be trapped inwhat ifs.

My throat was constricting more, and the skin under my eyes was taut with tears.

“But why?” Iris asked.

“Because I think I love him.” My throat burned as I got out the words, clogged emotions escaping in one thin river down my nose.

The room hushed as I wiped the tear.

Evelyn spoke up. “Oh hun, that’s something worth smiling about, not to cry over.”

“I can’t love him.” I shook my head.

“You’re mourning something you haven’t even lost,” Iris stated.