Page 125 of Don't Be in Love

“I love howthat’swhat stuns you of all things.”

“How are you doing?”

“Not great. I feel like my entire future just went up in flames.”

“Hey, that’s not true. It’s just one article.”

“Hundreds of articles now. They’re all the same story just expanded. Beverly’s never going to hire me, and I’ll make no money, and I’ll have nowhere to live once I graduate.”

“You can always come home.” An awkward silence filled the speaker.

“I … I could never do that to you. You have a fiancé now.”

“And he’d love to meet you. Space in our home will never be a problem. It’s always open.”

I picked at the seam on my duvet, trying to figure out to start this conversation. A thread fell between my fingertips as I responded. “Thank you, by the way, for everything when I was younger. I can’t imagine how much of a burden I was when you were only twenty-five.”

“Adelaide, you werenevera burden. Why would you think that?”

“You weren’t really around so we never spoke. I honestly thought I was in the way.”

“That hadnothingto do with you. Honestly … I thoughtIwas inyourway. I was so scared of messing up that I didn’t know how to be around you. If I was a friend, then I was being irresponsible. If I was strict, then I’d look like I was trying to replace your parents by enforcing some lifestyle on you. I had only just graduated college and could barely figure out how to find a good plumber and do my own taxes, let alone how to care for my niece whose parents failed her. I was at the most confusing time of my life, even if you hadn’t been living with me. I thought giving you space was the right decision. You were already so grown up for fifteen—you didn’t need me.

“But as I’ve watched you grow from afar, I know how much I’ve failed you too. Which is ironic, because my biggest fear was to be as distant as my brother.” She exhaled. “Did you know that I was the one that signed you up for soccer when you were a kid? I took you every weekend to get you out of the house so you weren’t around when they fought. I wanted to sign you up for all these sports and activities, but I was still in school. To this day I feel like I failed you by not doing just that—not acting soon enough. I never wanted you to think I wasn’t here for you. I’malwayshere for you.”

My throat was tight. “I never realized …”

“It’s my fault for not saying something sooner and reaching out first. This home will always be just as much yours as it is mine. So if you want to come home now, or after graduation, I’ll be here waiting for you.”

43

Don’t Be In Love — Adelaide

A week until the start of the spring semester, when I’d be surrounded by even more wandering eyes and questions than I already was, and these women were absolutelyno help.

Cheese and wine, they said.It’ll be fun, they said. I wanted to remain curled up in my personal hobbit hole, but I couldn’t miss book club if I wanted to. Not when I had invited Maureen.

In yoga pants and a sweater, I buried myself into the cushion of the loveseat beside Mia, hiding from the circle of women.

“One second, everyone in the ballroom is dancing. Then the next, phones start pinging and all the photographers flee the museum for the gardens. I had no idea they were looking for Addy and Dorian until I saw the article on Brina’s phone,” Mia recited.

Dotty and Iris already heard this story, but they gasped with everyone else anyway.

“Did you escape?” Cora questioned.

“This wasn’t some spy mission guys.” I shook my head.

“No one got any—additional—photos of them thankfully,” Mia answered.

“How did Sabrina take it?”

I brought my legs to my chest and rested my chin on my knee. “She was upset. Really upset,” I exhaled. “Rightfully so.I’ve been a terrible friend. I expected her to say that she hated me, but she only asked for space, so I’ve been giving her that. We talked this morning though, and it went really well.”

This morning, Sabrina had shuffled into my room with her pink fluffy slippers wanting to talk. She crawled into my bed and shooed my laptop out of my hands.

I twisted my gold rings off and on my fingers. She picked her nails. Thick silence radiated between us.

Her glossy lips parted. “I can’t believe you had to tutor him,” she thought aloud.