Page 101 of Don't Be in Love

Her hands found my shoulders, my neck, my hair, my jaw. She was shaping me like a sculptor. My skin felt hotter than the surface of stove after a pot of boiling water. I tried to take it all in. Absorb it. But I couldn’t stay still. With a hand on her hip and another at her neck, I switched our places, pressing her against the glass.

I didn’t pull away as I peeled off my coat. She took the wrists of the fabric, tugging it off the rest of the way. I didn’t waste time finding her again, my hands catching her waist and pulling her into my chest.

I couldn’t get her close enough. I couldn’t get enough of her.

How is this real? How is this real?

She parted my lips as if demanding admittance for something she’d been patient for. I’d let her do whatever she wanted.

“God, Adelaide,”I groaned.

I absorbed the taste of the coconut lip gloss I stared at all night, sweeping my hands over her frame. I memorized her hips. I memorized her lower back. Her breathing, the back of her arms, the arch of her neck. Wet strands of hair even wrapped themselves around my rings.

I was suffocating and breathing the freshest air at the same time. I couldn’t fathom how she was real. She was everything I never knew I needed. And now I couldn’t let go.

Our hands moved along each other’s bodies in conversation.

I love you, the hand cupping her jaw, said.

I love you, the hot breath I was gasping for, said.

I love you, the desperate kiss I pressed against her lips, said.

Silence rang out from her end. I couldn’t read any of her movements.

And then, the sound of a car horn blared in the street.

We jumped away from each other. Grogginess swept my muscles.

She exhaled.

I inhaled.

I counted every inch that stood between our lips, my brain calculating the number of seconds it would take to reach her again. No different than any other time I was around her.

But as we caught our breath, all I could think about was how I was supposed to ignore my feelings now.

“Tell me to stay,” I said.

“What?” she breathed.

“Tell,” I exhaled. I couldn’t catch ahold of my breath. She had it all. “Me. To. Stay. With. You.”

“You’re supposed to be in Italy with your family and James.”

“They are the last thing I’m thinking about right now.”

“Dorian …”

“Tell me something, Adelaide. Because I care for you so much that I’m losing sleep over it.”

“I … I don’t know.”

I steeled myself. “When I come home, I’m going to come see you. And if your answer is still ‘I don’t know,’ then I’ll leave you alone.”

I may have said those words, but I wasn’t sure of how I was supposed to stick to them if her answer was anything butI care for you too.

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