Page 45 of Picking Daisies on Sundays

He glanced at the ground, his soft lips forming a small pout that only appeared when he was nervous. It made the muscles in my hands ache with the struggle to keep them in my lap and not reach out to his. “Are you still around for this weekend?”

“This weekend?” I started filing through our conversations in my head. Did we have something this weekend?

“The ball?” he asked, hoping to prompt my recollection.

The ball, the ball, the ball… OH.Oh. Oh no, for the engagement. And I never got a dress.

I know this is going to sound unbelievable as a designer in the making, but my options were slim. I didn’t make my dresses with myself in mind. Those were often more revealing and made for people seven inches taller than me. Borrowing something of my mom’s would probably be my most ideal option but it would also be my own worst nightmare. That womanbreathesbodycon and boobs.

“Oh, yes, yes! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Of course, I’m still available.” I smiled.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. We’re getting you this job, Levi.”

He nodded, his teeth puncturing his lip momentarily in lost

thought. It made me wonder what he was keeping bottled up and whether it would spill out before this charade came to an end.

20

I’ve never heard anything more

terrifying

“I just want to wear my overalls,” I huffed, landing on my bed, falling backwards into the pile of clothes I had tried on and ripped off.

“Why can’t you wear one of those dresses?” Jia asked with confusion. Referencing the few dresses on my bed that were handsewn before I entered college and actually fit me, which was codeword for: outdated and horrendous seam lines. And the nicer clothes I had worn to fashion shows and events weren’t formal enough.

“I feel like Levi has this new image of me compared to High School Dani. High School Dani wore oversized clothes covered in fabric paint, and jeans that didn’t fit her. College Dani is supposed to be sophisticated and feminine.”

“Whatisfemininity really?” Jia pondered—unhelpfully.

“You realize College Dani still dresses like High School Dani, right?” Gabe asked—also unhelpfully.

“I just want to look nice,” I sighed, feeling incredibly defeated over my lack of effort to push myself out of my comfort zone since entering college. It’s just always been easier to design and dress others, than trying to do it for myself. I was the designer, the person behind the camera, not the model.

But since seeing Levi, and how he’s grown and the steps he’s taken towards his career, it made me feel like I’ve been too comfortable. I haven’tchallengedmyself. I needed to challenge myself.

Pulling myself out of my pile of clothes, I stood up and exhaled a breath of new air. I was going to try something new. Turning to Gabe and Jia, I announced, “I’m asking my mom.”

The two gasped and immediately sat up. “Linda?!”

Jia shot up from the ground. “I’m coming for this, let’s go.”

We moved down the stairs and towards my mother in the kitchen. She was seated at the island with a coffee in her hand and a magazine in front of her, dressed in satin pajamas and slippers. When she turned to see us, her calm demeanor shifted to surprise. I opened my mouth to ask—

“Can we use your closet, Linda?” Jia looked at my mom with a pleading smile.

My mom looked between the three of us in suspicion before landing on me to ask, “Is this for Sarah’s Ball?”

I nodded my head.

All it took was one, “Of course,” from my mother for Gabe and Jia to shoot back upstairs into her closet. I remained where I was to explain, but she brushed it off.

“Thank you, Mom.” I moved around her coffee to hug her and was greeted by the softness of her pajamas, and the smell of her fruity perfume.

“Of course, sweetie.” A kiss landed on the top of my head. “You had some mail come for you yesterday by the way.”