Page 30 of Picking Daisies on Sundays

He glanced at her date, and then back at me with confusion. “What’s wrong with him?”

I pressed myself close to the table, trying to lean towards him in order to be discrete. I placed the menu beside me as a shield in case her date was somehow incredibly good at reading lips.

Levi watched my movements, mimicking them. But he forgot how much taller he was than me because our noses were only inches apart when he leaned across his side of the table.

Pull yourself together, Daniella. “He’s wearing a shirt with aRubix cubeon it,” I whispered in horror.

Levi narrowed his eyes, “What’s wrong with Rubix cubes?”

“It’s not that it’s the Rubix cube itself, but the fact that he’s wearing iton a first date.”

He thought on it before agreeing. His tongue ran across his bottom lip so quickly that I wanted to pinch myself for even noticing. “What should he be wearing then?”

Sitting back up and putting the menu down, I pondered it for a moment. What would I want a guy to wear on a first date?

“A clean pair of jeans would be nice. A plain shirt, and maybe a nice jacket,” I answered.

He looked down at his own clothes, and then it clicked.Mortification. I was a ball of mortification, containing every embarrassing word a girl could utter to her crush. I may as well just put my heart on the table for him because I could not make my attraction for him any more obvious.

He smiled a kind smile though, halfway through fixing the

bottom of his plain, black shirt.

I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it. “Do you date a lot?”

His eyes meet mine in surprise, his lips partially parted. He cleared his throat.

I crossed a line that I wasn’t supposed to cross.

“Not often, no.”

I nodded. I’ve changed my mind; I don’t want to talk about his dating history.

The rest of the time moved slow. We watched Jia chat with Rubix cube and have dinner. There were no alarming looks or handwaving in need of help, so we continued to talk, even after Jia and her date left.

We avoided the topic of dating the entire time, and that seemed to be the sweet spot because we had fallen back into a comfortable rhythm of banter and teasing.

The joy that was swelling in my chest to have this friendship back couldn’t be explained. But it didn’t cover up the hole in my heart that was getting wider. And I know it wouldn’t get better when we left for my apartment tonight.

14

Midnights and daydreaming hours of retracing steps

to how we possibly got here

“My mom and Mandy are gone for the weekend,” I told him as he shut the townhouse door behind us, switching on a few of the lamps.

I always loved the look of the apartment at night. The dark sky outside and yellow lamp light inside brought a coziness to the soft furniture and flowers that only autumn carried. But not even the coziness of the apartment at the moment could calm the anxious nest in my chest.

“Um. We could go in my room if you want?”

He looked at me with hesitation, sizing up the question. “It’s fine with me,” he replied, his tone sounding similar to my own.

I nodded since I had no words, letting him follow me up the stairs towards my room.

I don’t know why I was making this weird, this didn’t have to be weird. It wasn’t weird!

We’ve been in each other’s bedrooms before—not this specific one since we all moved after high school, but still. I couldn’t help but let that one distinction make me feel nervous; somehow lettinghim enter my room that has never been seen by him and has only been lived in by Adult Me rather than Childhood Me felt like we were crossing into the multiverse.