Page 53 of The Matchmaker's Cottage

“Are you entirely blameless, then?” Ethan shot back. “It was justallme and that’s it? Ethan fucked up and Julia is perfect, as per usual.”

“As per—” she exploded. “Me?Theperfectone? Youmustbe joking, Ethan. Seriously, don’t make me laugh. Mr. Golden Boy hockey player, talented photographer, only-child sunshine kid who everyone loved. But yeah, sure,Iwas perfect.” She rolled her eyes and made to stand up. “You need to just—”

Her legs must not have been as steady as she anticipated, however, because her knees wobbled precariously before buckling, and she fell back down,hard. Or at least she would have if Ethan hadn’t jolted forward to grab her, redirecting her fall so she landed on him. In his arms. On his lap.

She straightened with a gasp, and he tightened his arms around her back, their faces only a couple of inches apart. He could see the indigo flecks in her eyes, the smattering of golden freckles on her cheeks, could feel her breath coming out sharply from full, rose-tinted lips.

This was the problem she had—the problem she had always had.

She’d always denied being perfect, when the evidence was right there and had been in front of him, day in and day out, for decades.

He saw her gaze flick down to his mouth and back up again, colliding with his own as their eyes met and held. She was wordless, breathless almost, and had stopped, her whole body going still, though she remained alert and steady in his arms.

This is such a bad fucking idea,Ethan thought.

Then he kissed her.

19

There had alwaysbeen a part of Julia that had known what was going to happen before it did, but only when it came to Ethan.

It was the strange way she’d always understood what he was thinking or planning before he acted on it. A type of sixth sense—but mostly useless, because it only worked specifically for Ethan.

It was something about a glint in his eye or the set of his jaw. The way a muscle flexed in his cheek or how he’d roll his shoulders. Maybe a slight smirk, one dimple appearing in the otherwise-smooth tableau of his face.

Ethanplotted.

It was in his nature. He was doggedly determined to manufacture the best outcome for himself and those he cared about, so he was always ten steps ahead in every situation.

Outwardly, no one would know. He was easygoing Ethan, beer in hand, easy smile, a girl perched on the arm of his chair laughing at something she probably didn’t even hear. Butinwardly, Julia knew it was different. Inwardly, he was trying to make sense of it all—figuring out how to fit the pieces together, how to protect what mattered and keep some small bit of control in a life that never seemed to stop moving.

So when he kissed her, she knew it was going to happen full seconds before it actually did.

It had started with her fall, her knees giving way as she’d tried to stand, forgetting that she usually needed to give herself time before getting up after an episode. When she’d landed, she’d inconveniently landed in the worst spot imaginable—right in his goddamn lap. Then, instead of pushing him away or scooting back, getting herself out of the very inconvenient and embarrassing position she’d found herself in, she’d frozen. Staring into his eyes, icy blue and so familiar, the bronze hue of his hair glinting in even the mediocre light of her bathroom. Wishing she could run her fingers through it, then cursing herself for even having the thought.

And that was when she’d seen it.

The set of his jaw, the way his pupils had dilated. The quick glance down to her mouth and back up again. And she had known. She had known without a doubt that she was going to experience the feeling of Ethan Duchamp’s lips on hers for the second time in her entire life.

When he kissed her, as she expected him to, it was as if all her senses zeroed in to the point of contact. All the nerve endings in her lips and mouth fired up at once so that everything she could taste, smell, hear,feel, was him and only him. There was something so warm about it, so safe, and she helplessly parted her lips to his tongue, feeling him lick and tease lightly, pressing airy kisses against her mouth, tasting her with unhurried intent.

Her nipples tightened, the traitorous bastards, and she settled more heavily into his arms—intentionally or unintentionally, she couldn’t say, but he was drawing her closer, and she was allowing it, breathing him in. Ethan,Ethan,herEthan…

Except—he wasn’t, was he?

She let out a sound, a cross between a whimper and a moan, coming from the back of her throat, and Ethan responded by deepening the kiss with a matching groan. Resisting the urge to put her arms around him and allow him to continue, she fought with herself internally to put a stop to it.

Ethan must have sensed it, because he pulled back after pressing one last, hard kiss to her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped before she could say anything. “I—” He appeared to make a valiant attempt to gather himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, quieter this time, clearing his throat uncomfortably. “I didn’t— That was out of line. The kiss,” he clarified, as if maybe she wouldn’t piece it together herself. “I completely forgot, the wine—”

“It’s fine,” she said quickly. “Whatever tipsiness I felt before passed with…” She didn’t want to mention how he had found her, so instead she said, “I think we should get some rest.” She felt detached from her own body as her sentient self hovered somewhere above, looking down on the two of them sitting on the tile floor below. Quickly, she slid off of him, legs hitting the cool tile once more. “We can go down to the lake tomorrow with Noah and Katy.”

Ethan nodded once, clearing his throat gruffly. “That sounds like a good idea.” Heaving a sigh, he looked at Julia again, trying to make eye contact that she staunchly refused to entertain. “Julia…”

She didn’t know what was worse, hearing him call herJulia, the familiar cadence of his voice saying her name in an unfamiliar way, or allowing him to call her Gem, a callback to the way they used to be and the relationship that had existed before. Both felt untenable. Both hurt in different ways.