Page 45 of Left on Read

“Here.” Hayes hands me a bottle of water because I just spit out whatever godforsaken mess they’re passing around in clear plastic cups. It tasted the way gasoline smells.

“Thanks,” I mumble. He’s not drinking the battery acid either.

It’s Saturday night, and that means technically, midterm week starts in, like, three hours. I should be at home studying or sleeping, but I’ve somehow been convinced to join my friends at this overly loud, obnoxious party. I don’t know what I was thinking.

If I’d knownwhoseparty this was, I would’ve instinctively and rightfully said no. I shouldn’t be here.

“This song sucks.” Luke stumbles in our direction, having had just enough of the mystery booze to make him lose whatever fewinhibitions he has. He falls into Piper’s side, and she absorbs his weight in a way that’s pretty impressive given her own tipsiness.

“What’s going on here?” Esha sneaks up behind me, resting her foot on the hay bale Hayes and I are sitting on. Her boots are covered ankle deep in red-clay dust.

“I’m not sure,” I tell her truthfully. I don’t know what’s happening between Piper and Luke. But they seem to be having fun. I roll my eyes as they gravitate toward each other again, barely seconds after separating. They start slow dancing to a song no one else can hear.

“How did we end up here, anyway?” I ask Esha, grabbing her elbow and pulling her down to my level. I was probably too trusting. Hayes said there was a party happening tonight, and he wanted to bring me. That was all it took for me; I agreed to come, and I invited Esha, too. Next time, I’m asking more questions. Like my parents would if they knew where I was.

Hayes bumps his shoulder against mine, silently asking how I’m doing.

“I’m okay,” I say, on instinct.

I look up, and I’mnotokay, because my gaze finds those greedy blue eyes. That hard mouth that I used to long for in a thousand different ways. That face I used to think I loved, now contorted in what can only be described as an expression of derision. I haven’t seen him in over a year.

“Oh God. Of course they’d both be here.” Esha squeezes my arm. Her face is a stony mask.

It’s only then that I notice they areindeedboth here. Standing next to each other.HimandThe Other One.So nice that they’ve become friends. So nice that literally every boy I’ve ever been attracted to is right here in this barn that smells like actual bullshit.

I overhear Him asking The Other One if I still think I’m going to make it out of this town. The Other One says I might, if they’re letting professors wear skirts that short nowadays.

“Is that your—” Hayes starts to ask.

My sharp intake of breath cuts him off.

That, or Esha’s wide-eyed expression that’s basically begging him to shut up.

My ex-boyfriend. That’s what he was going to say. And yes, it is.Theyare. Standing there together like they walked right out of my nightmares.

“Let’s get these two home before they hurt themselves.” Esha pulls Piper up off the dirt where she’d been lying kind of on top of Luke. Hayes helps Luke up.

“You smell like vanilla.” Luke sniffs Hayes’s hair. Hayes does often smell like vanilla.

Piper and Luke start to follow Esha unsteadily out of the barn, Luke punching the air for some reason and Piper giggling about how she might need to throw up.

I’m frozen on the hay bale. Rooted in place by two sets of eyes that have already seen way, way too much.

“Come on, Novella.” Hayes steps in front of me, blocking their gaze, holding out his hand. “Let’s go.”

I thread my fingers through his and let him pull me to my feet. My skin crawls as I still feel their eyes on my back. Hayes’s car is close; I can see it outside the barn. I can see Esha pushing Luke into the back seat of her own car, and I can still hear Piper giggling.

Hayes steps closer, rests his palm on my lower back. That makes it clear that we’re—something.That I’ve chosen someone else. That I’vemoved on.All at once, I feel the burden of those horrible boys’ gazes fade away. It’s like the weight of a too-heavy coat falling off my shoulders.

My lungs heave in as much farm-scented air as they can, and I let my shoulders relax. “Yes,” I say loudly. “Let’s go.”

“Meet at my place?” Esha asks, as we reach her car.

“Great idea.” Hayes nods.

“Drive safe,” I say, careful to keep my voice casual.

I climb into Hayes’ car, and I can’t help it. I look back one more time. They’re still staring. Smirking, like they’ve won something. Hayes starts to pull out of the makeshift parking lot that’s really just an overcrowded field.