Page 81 of A Hard Habit to Break

He nodded mechanically, his throat tight. The pine trees lining the path released their resinous scent into the warming air, a smell that usually grounded him, connected him to this place he never wanted to leave. But now it felt cloying, overwhelming, like everything else in his world that had suddenly become too much to bear.

Rachel was so proud, so radiant, as she traced the lines of her vision made real. How could he tell her that every beautiful detail she’d crafted might cost him everything he’d worked for? The captain’s primary focus rested on the firehouse resources. Pete wanted new administrative spaces. With Rachel, the town would receive more than ever envisioned, more than the powers-that-be wanted.

“It’s perfect,” Noah managed, his voice sounding hollow even to himself.

Rachel’s enthusiasm faltered. She straightened, studying his face with those perceptive eyes that had first caught his attention. “Tell me what the captain said to you.”

Noah’s jaw clenched. “I told you, it was just committee stuff. I got this.”

“Don’t you dare BS me, Noah Calvary.” Rachel’s tone sharpened. “You’ve been dodging the subject. What aren’t you telling me?”

His attempts to avoid sharing the details of his conversation with Captain Novak had escalated to their first real fight. Rachel sensed he’d had a more in-depth meeting with his superior than he let on.

Their walk back to the cabin had been a quiet one. Not for him trying to change the subject from the gaslight burninghis career to ashes. First, the captain’s warning about assuming the chairman position, and now this complaint that wasn’t going away. Noah struggled to see his way clear of impending failure.

Rachel would witness him not only being removed as chairman, but also the indignity of losing his job. As much as he loved his small town, jobs that paid a living wage were few. Most of the plants—chemical, automotive, paper—operated on huge acreages hundreds of miles away from Calvary land.

His cabin felt too small for the giant threat looming, the walls closing in on him, so he’d settled Rachel in his arms outside by the plunge pool. He knew this land. For generations, the Calvary family honored every tree and shrub by preserving the tranquil beauty of land meeting water. But today, Noah struggled to find peace. Instead, his ears tuned to the pounding of the waters against rock, the crashing weight, the break and splinter of limbs, the loosening of soil, and leaves surrendering to the current. Today, he heard the roar of his carefully laid plans snatched up in the undercurrent, drowning in uncertainty.

“Hey.” Rachel rested her head in his lap, her long legs stretched out in the grass. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Spoken like a true member of Service.”

She poked him in the belly. “I wouldn’t gossip. I want to help.”

“I got us, Six.” The words rang hollow, even as the heat spread up from his collar. A wood thrush’s call pierced the air, sharp and insistent. The sound used to remind him of lazy Sunday mornings and the simple pleasure of being alive on this mountain he loved. Now it felt like an alarm, urgent and unsettling, matching the racing of his heart.

“Not that I’d ever doubt the great Noah Calvary, but—”

When she didn’t say any more, Noah looked down. Her eyes held his. “But, what?”

“I’m worried. And I don’t like feeling this way… not when everything between us is so new. We should handle stuff together, not—”

Together.The word should have been a comfort. Instead, it felt like a knife twisting in his chest. How could he explain that “together” might be what would destroy them both? That loving her—really, truly loving her the way he did—might mean sacrificing the career he’d built, the committee position that could change their entire community?

“Com’ere,” he said, easing himself flat on the cool grass. Rachel, as if by instinct, climbed his body like he was her favorite tree. They stayed like that for minutes. His body a haven for hers.

“If you tell me everything is okay, I won’t believe you.”

With one hand, he brushed a few flying ringlets, dancing in the breeze, behind her ear. “I won’t lie to you, Six.”

“Will you tell me what’s going on, then?”

“And if I said no?”

She looked away then, her gaze somewhere beyond the horizon. “I’d question my place in your life.”

“I’ve told you that I love you.”

“That’s just it. Telling someone you love them is the easiest part. Showing them, showing me, that this time we’ll tackle everything, good and bad, together. That’s the foundation I want for us, Noah.”

He frowned, then, confident that’s what he’d given, but unsure if she’d received it the way he intended.

Noah reared up on his elbows. “This land. This house. I built this for you, for us. Year after year, waiting, hoping, wishing you’d come back. How can you question the foundation?”

“How can I not, when you have this neat little package you want to present me with?”

“A package?” He came to his feet, bringing her with him.