Page 167 of Devil Inside

I’m inside him. Within Jordan.

But I’m not alone. Such tight confinements. The squirm of eels caught in a trap, slithering over top of one another in a wet, endless knot, tangling into an agitated ligature.

I sense the other slink along Jordan’s spine, coiling itself up tight, a snake squeezing the life out of its prey. This one won’t go easily. They’ve embedded themselves, burrowing into the soft tissue. I have to uproot them. Make sure there’s nothing left.

This one burnsso bright. We can’t believe you thought you could keep him a secret...

You’re a parasite, I say.Let him go.

Why?Soyou can have him all to yourself? Jordan wants to see other people.

You don’t hold dominion over him.

I pull with all my strength. You need to weed your garden—and here I am, uprooting the most stubborn of invasive species, tendrils extending into every corner of Jordan.

Mine, they hiss.He’s mine. If we can’t have him, nobody will...

Not yours.Not anyone’s.

I pull with all my might.The roots slowly start to give, breaking free from the soil that is Jordan’s body, the sod that of his soul, loosening.

You really think you can keep him? Have him all to yourself? You are weak.

Tendrils relent. They unravel, unspooling. Look at the weed I’ve just uprooted.

He will never love you. He will always be afraid of you. What you truly are.

Jordan thinks he has to punish himself. He doesn’t need to make a martyr of himself.

You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

I incinerate what’s left behind. Scorch his insides. Hollow him out. I make a fire of myself, a glorious fire, feel the flames, look at them flicker and lick, and spread, singeing the very tissues, burning my every last parasite, every last weed that has taken root within, decimating his demons, his sins, he has made an altar of his body for his sacrifice, to show his devotion to me, and I burn through it all, burn it all away, a living sacrifice, until there is nothing left, nothing but ash, nothing but burnt offerings inside.

Jordan gasps, as if he’s just broken through the water’s surface. The air reaches his lungs. He shouts, terrified. Clarity comes back to his eyes. The world comes crashing.

I let go, releasing him.

What is it they say?If you love something, let it go?What else do I have to hold on to at this point? I’ve let go of all that I can, no matter how much I want to hold on. Hold him.

His body gives. Jordan collapses on the dance floor. Cananyone hear him scream over the music? Everyone he’s loved, everyone holding him to this world, all his friends, are possessed.

The blur of bodies is all around us. Flesh coalesces. They’re no longer human, but a river of skin surrounding Jordan and myself, a closed circuit of corruption, of hedonism, these possessed people merging into a writhing mass of humanity. Of sin.

These people have lost their sense of self, losing themselves to the music, to the demons within. Hell on earth is finally here. Sodom and Gomorrah. They keep on dancing, dancing...

Nobody else can hear Jordan say—“Take me.”

Where, I whisper.

“Home.”

devil inside

Jordan & Lilith

I felt her inside me. The wholeness of her. We fit. I never sensed Lilith within before, not like this, never knew when she was inside... but for just this blissful moment, I didn’t feel empty, didn’t feel alone, everything suddenly clicked, and it all felt like home.

That’s when it hit me: My body is her home.