Page 129 of Devil Inside

“Oh my God...” Her eyes widen. The tension in her jaw slackens, suspended just enough to release the slightest guffaw. “Are you... are you two fucking? You are, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“In my body?”

“Yeah.”

Cara shakes her head. I can’t tell if she’s impressed or repulsed. “Figures.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk. I needed to know if you were cool with... with....”

“Am I cool with my body being used as a sexual Ouija board?” Cara reaches for the glass of wine on the table. “Yeah. Fuck it. Why not, right? I’m down to share.”

It doesn’t sound like Lilith.Because it’s not. It’s not her at all.I should know that by now, but even so, I can’t help but get caught up in her speech patterns. The difference in her intonation. Her voice sounds different than before, when Lilith is in control. It’s not only that she’s a different person, but a completely different patois. It’s not just her body that gets taken over, but her entire personality.

This isn’t Lilith. This is someone else.

I miss her. Miss Lilith. Her voice. The acidity of her words. Her eyes. The way she looks at me, the razor blade of her stare, cutting right through me. I want that back.

Want her. Not...her.

“I had these stupid dreams of making it big,” Cara says to her empty glass of wine. “Go all Hollywood. Make a movie. I wanted to believe I was special... but moving to Richmond, I realized, no, sorry, there’s nothing special about me. I’m just another hack with a pipe dream. Get in line, you know? It wasn’t until she came inside that I felt like I might be.”

When she doesn’t continue, I ask, “Might be... what?”

“Special.” A somberness sweeps over Cara’s face. The wine is working its way through her blood, the tension relenting. “She told me she’d take control, that she could help, and all I had to do was let her in, let her inside, and suddenly... my life wasn’t so hard anymore.”

She pours herself another glass, filling it to the brim.

“I don’t have to think. I don’t have to worry. I don’t have to be afraid. I can just let go and... let her in. She makes the calls. She lives for me. And she doesn’t hold back.”

The room goes silent. Cara’s looking at me with eyes I don’t like.

“Have you ever been...you know.” She’s insinuating something I can’t decipher.

“Have I been what?”

“Possessed?”

“No...” Would I even know if I had? Who’s to say one of my blackout nights wasn’t actually some demon passing through, hijacking my body?

“Why not?” She sounds disappointed. “What are you so afraid of?”

“Who says I’m afraid?”

“Come on... Don’t you just want to let go? Throw your inhibitions away?”

“I’d rather keep my grip, thanks.”

“Of course you would.” She’s sniping at me. Cara. Another stranger. Another lost soul, desperate for a connection. To feel something,anything, outside our hollow lives.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Doesn’t itexciteyou? Thinking that there are, I don’t know, all these... thesedemons, just looking for a little place to call home? Have some fun? And that we, you and me and whoever else, can just give that to them? And in return, we get to cut loose? Be free?”

“Let it all hang out, huh?”

“It’s pretty liberating, when you think about it. Letting go of all your inhibitions.” She leans in closer, her voice softening to a seductive whisper. “They’re out there, right now. Who knows how many. All of them just looking for a warm body to call home. And they’ve pickedyou. Your body. Don’t you feel honored? Don’t you feel the freedom in giv—”