Page 128 of Devil Inside

“Do you remember me?” I hold my hand against my chest, my heart, as if to announce myself. Present myself in the most nonthreatening manner possible.

“Oh God.” Her voice lifts. “You’re the asshole from bingo.”

“That’s right... I’m Jordan.”

“Cara.” Hearing her say her own name, not Lilith’s, bumps against my ear. It doesn’t sound right. Doesn’t sound real. None of this feels real to me.What in the hell am I doing?

An awkward silence seeps into the room, absorbing our breath.

“How long was I gone for this time?”

“Not long.”

“Days? Hours?”

“A few hours?”

When Lilith is in control, she looks at me with a sense of recognition. She knows me. But when she slips away, leaving her host behind, that look is gone. I’m not a part of her life.

“How did it start?” I ask, feeling like I’m fumbling through this. “When did you first...”

“Go all Exorcist?” She throws it back.

“So... you know?”

“I thought I was losing my mind at first. I didn’t know what was happening. I kept hearing this... this voice.”

Cara’s eyes drift, lapsing off into some distant thought.

“Lilith,” I offer.

“You know...her?”

I nod.

“Is she really a... a...” Her voice fades. She doesn’t need to say the word.

Demon.It’s there, suspended between us, hanging in the air like some phantom presence. Haunting us both. Maybe Lilith is still here, right now, drifting through the ether.

Waiting.

“This city fucking sucks when it comes to meeting people. I’ve been justcoasting.”

I know the feeling.

“But here was someone—something—that wanted to hold on. Take over. I just thought,Whynot?Let go. Let someone else take the wheel. It was scary at first, but then... I don’t know. I kinda loved it. I got to do all the things I was too timid to do. I wasn’t afraid to cut loose. Say fuck it for once, you know? I’ve spent my whole life being told what not to do... I just figured, to hell with it. Let’s be the me I’ve always wanted to be, just with... her.”

Cara drifts. “She found me,” she says. “Called out for me. Out of everybody, she picked me.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Waves? Black waves washing over everything. Over me.” She looks at me, shaken. “Wait... Where did she go?” Cara almost sounds sad to be separated. Alone.

“I asked if we could... talk. You and me.”

“...Why?”

“I just needed to know if you were... if you were okay with this. All this.”