Page 87 of Counting the Days

“Wow…that’s…so inspiring.”

Theresa handed her a brown paper bag of goods, and Rhea headed toward the door.

“If you ever wanna talk about it more, lemme know—if you want advice or anything. I know how hard it is to be, ya know, in your shoes.”

They exchanged empathetic looks and phone numbers. Rhea walked to her car, and as she drove away, her ego fed her images of Rhea Darby rock-climbing with a sperm-bank infant on her back. She had, of course, heard of women inseminating themselves, but she had never sat in their immaculate living room and seen how well it had worked out.

—

At the coalition meeting, shewas unfortunately not awarded a trophy for Best Gatherer of Supplies, but she did get to meet more nice people in her community, and—maybe for the first time in her life—she felt like a genuinely good person, which was surprisingly even better than receiving a trophy.

The leaders of the coalition were talking about the staggering number of humans experiencing homelessness in L.A. County, and Rhea tried to focus, but her thoughts kept returning to Theresa. Growing up with an overworked, stressed single mom, Rhea had never considered raising a kid on her own, but Rhea wasnotSarah Darby…but was sheTheresa? Theresa seemed like Superwoman. She made it all look so easy, but Rhea was not the Superwoman type. She felt like there were two kinds of people in the world: those who made their own organic raw strawberry-cashew milk and those who did not know what that was.

“…the numbers are so high, the mayor has declared a state of emergency. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court cleared the way for cities to enforce bans on people sleeping in public places…,” a coalition leader said.

Rhea wondered if she was energetic and organized enoughto raise a child on her own…but maybe life would be manageable if she trained it to do her dishes and clean her house.

“…Tens of thousands of people die every year due to the dangerous conditions on the streets…. The cost of living is rising; wages are not keeping up, and our fellow humans who are left on the streets are far more susceptible to chronic health issues, mental health issues, and disease….”

These homelessness statistics were not helping. The more she heard about the hardships of being human, the more Danny’s speech rang through her head. Could she actually bring an innocent child here all by herself?

Meeting Theresa just put the power of conception into Rhea’s hands; it revoked her victim status entirely.You don’t need the right person. You can do it on your own.But did sheneeda child badly enough to raise it on her own? Would she only accept a child that came with a husband and an enviable holiday photo of her happy family wearing matching reindeer pajamas?

—

Rhea sat outside in ayard lit up by string lights that she’d hung herself. Dinner was homemade lentil Bolognese, courtesy of her new cookbook, and a glass of cabernet. Her depression had lifted, and alcohol was no longer off-limits. Her phone buzzed, and her first thought was of Danny. She wondered how many years would have to go by for her not to think of Danny when the outside world tried to contact her.

It was the Ada-Tiny-Rhea-Zoe chain.

Ada:Guys! Tiny and I were just talking about getting a house in Big Bear for a week over Xmas

Ada:Ree Kee! We really want you to come. But don’t want you to feel obligated. We’re gonna bring nannies and make sure we get at leastone adults only dinner. Please only come if this sounds fun!

Tiny:Let’s get fuckin’ hammered! Pump and dump!!!!

Zoe:I’m in! But can we leave the nannies and kids at home? Lol I guess that makes me a Scrooge

Rhea thought about staying in a cozy house in Big Bear with her best friends over the holiday. They would buy a tree in town and decorate it with the kiddos. They would make gingerbread cookies and hot cocoa. They would wrap the presents while the kids were asleep and get to watch their astonished faces in the morning. She usually reserved Christmas for wallowing in grief about her mom, but maybe she could use a refreshing change in her routine.

Rhea:I’m in! But can I reserve the right to lock myself in my room if I need an emotional break from all the kids and family stuff?

Ada:Definitely!

Tiny:Yesssss­sssss­ss absolutely!

Zoe:Can I lock myself in with you? Lol

Zoe:Two kids are a lot harder than one y’all!

Tiny:Good to know. I’m gonna cut Jason’s balls off

Rhea:There’s gotta be an easier way

Tiny:Too late!

Rhea laughed out loud.

“Hi, Rhea,” her rock-climbing neighbor called over the fence.