Page 60 of Counting the Days

“But to answer your question, food makes it much worse, and while I was barfing for the third time today, I decided I’m never eating again…andthisis why Jason stopped asking me if I need anything, ’cause my answer is always no. It’s not his fault. He’s in hell too. I’m beyond help.”

“What is that?” Rhea asked.

Tiny turned and saw what had just pulled Rhea out of the conversation.

“Oh, Ada’s maternity shoots,” Tiny said.

They were looking at several eight-by-ten-inch photographs, all hanging on one string like a garland above Zoe’s fireplace. The subject in each photo was a visibly pregnant member of Ada’s social circle.

“What?” Rhea asked as her heart began thumping.

“Ada started taking maternity photos…just as, like, a hobby…. You didn’t know that?”

“No…I did not know that.” Rhea slowly walked toward them.

Zoe, at six months pregnant, wearing white underwear and a white button-down with the lower buttons undone, showing off her rounded belly.

Tiny, at five months pregnant, standing in front of her gorgeous garden boxes with Jason’s arms wrapped around her, cradling her womb.

Ada’s sister, standing in a field of poppies, wearing a poppy flower crown, one hand holding a single poppy while her other hand caressed her fertile uterus.

Ada’s friend from MIT, more of an edgy mom, standing in front of a graffiti-covered wall with her black jeans unzipped and her Ramones T-shirt tied in a high knot, exposing her perfectly spherical tummy.

Rhea started blinking. “Why are they…here?”

“I guess Zoe thought they would be a good baby shower decoration…like a celebration…of motherhood?” Tiny was now aware that Rhea was destroyed and struggling to stay upright.

“Why didn’t Ada tell me she started taking…maternity photos?”

“Oh…I’m sure she meant to, it’s just—”

“Totally fine. And makes sense ’cause…I’ve never been pregnant.” Rhea coerced her eyes to stop blinking and arranged her lips into a smile. She pulled Danny over to the kitchen counter so they could pour themselves another Bloody Mary. She had to shake this off. Danny was too sensitive and aware. He would soon piece together, if he hadn’t already, the wild emotions unleashed by those maternity photos, and Rhea was supposed to be his carefree, child-free girlfriend.

She didn’t know what hurt worse, the fact that her bestfriend would never get a chance to take her maternity photos or the fact that her best friend had taken up a new hobby, one she was obviously passionate about, without telling Rhea. Ada undoubtedly did not mention her new hobby to spare Rhea’s feelings, which resulted in demolishing Rhea’s feelings.

“You good?” Danny asked.

“Oh, I’m great.”

She was doing what all her past boyfriends had done to her: lying about what she was feeling, making Danny doubt his instincts. She felt guilty but had no choice; she had to do a better job of hiding her emotions. She had to leave no trace. “Let’s go play the dirty diaper game!” she yelled.

She flashed her happiest grin, determined to swallow the emotions deep down until she could get home and scream-cry into her mattress alone. She jauntily led Danny across the house to a table of diapers with the numbers one through six written on them, under a sign that read,Dirty Diaper Game!

“And what…does this entail?” Danny asked.

“It’s fun and I’m weirdly good at it, not to brag. You just look at the candy bar that’s melted inside each diaper and write down what kind of candy bar you think it is.”

“Why?”

“That I cannot answer.”

Danny watched Rhea carefully inspect a brown stain inside a diaper, thoughtfully smell it, and write down: “Diaper #1: Twix” on a little piece of card stock.

“Hey, no peeking. How’re you ever gonna learn if you’re cheating off me?”

“You’re right, this is an important life skill and I should take it seriously,” Danny said, and Rhea laughed too loudly, projecting the image of someone who was having a great time.

They scrutinized and smelled all the diapers, hiding theiranswers from each other as they wrote down their conclusions. They folded their cards and slipped them into a mason jar markedName That Poo!