Page 41 of Counting the Days

Being around him felt dangerous. He was a bad influence. He was the wrong crowd. She didn’t want him burrowing into her brain with his self-righteous, judgmental concerns about the environment or parenting in general. He was entitled to his own opinions, but she no longer wanted to hear them. She was supposed to stay for one more day of dancing and eye contact but decided it was not worth the torture of seeing Danny again. She was going to leave first thing in the morning.

She reached over the edge of the pool and grabbed her tossed towel. It was damp from Danny’s drippy exit, another reason to be angry with him. She looked around to make sure there were no well-hung old men lecherously watching her. People were lounging, chatting, or staring at the ocean. No one was watching her, lecherously or otherwise. But just in case someone might look over at the wrong moment, she stood up and, at theexact same time,wrapped her towel around herself. With a feigned breezy demeanor, she stepped over the edge of the pool and walked back through all the floating body parts.

She looked up at the sky, pretending she was concerned about the threat of rain, but was actually waiting for an older couple to leave the dressing area. Once she was alone, she put all her clothes back on in a frenzied blur. She started her trek back up the hill just as the heavy clouds released a drizzle.

“Hey,” said a voice from the darkness.

She turned and saw Danny sitting on a bench alone. He stood up and walked toward her. He was waiting for her. He was going to apologize. He was going to tell her she’d just changed his mind, and he did want to hold a little sleeping body.

“Your suitcase is still in my room.”

“Oh…sorry—”

“No, it’s okay, I walked in and saw it and—I just didn’t want you not to have it tonight.”

So, he had gone back to his room just like she imagined. Then he walkedall the wayback and waited outside in the cold so she didn’t have to go a night without a toothbrush and pajamas. She wanted to kick him in the balls, her anger melding with an intense wave of cute aggression. Try as she might to hate him, she adored him, and that enraged her even more.

They walked up the hill in silence. She took note of his outfit: dark gray Rag & Bone jeans, a cream waffle-knit long-sleeved shirt under a black Arc’teryx hoodie. He dressed exactly how she would dress if she were a man: well fitting, comfortable, clean, with a hint of outdoorsy. As she examined him, she realized she could not remember what he wore on their first date. She had not observed, judged, and cataloged his outfit. She was too focused on his eyes, his voice, his laugh.

Clocking and judging attire was how she kept herself safe. Clothing was more honest than words. Swipe-Left Randall could have claimed he was laid-back and aware, but his cell phone case gave away his anal retentiveness, and his ill-fitting cargo pants exposed his lack of awareness of the world around him. When someone dressed well, in clothes that were at least somewhat trendy, that told Rhea they were paying attention to the general population.

Over the years, she’d developed a habit of carefully observing what her dates were wearing so she could decipher who theytruly were. But with Danny, she forgot to do that. Danny Beckett was so attractive and confident, she had unknowingly put her vigilant judgment aside and just enjoyed his presence.

“Do you…want to wear this?” Danny said, gesturing to his hoodie.

Rhea looked at him, confused; had he been reading her mind?

“To keep the rain off your head,” he added, jiggling his hood.

Rhea had been so lost in thought that she did not notice the rain had picked up.

“Oh, no, thank you.”

As they passed the Lodge, Danny said abruptly, “Do you want some tea?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, like, do you want to go in the Lodge right now and have a cup of tea with me? I’m just not tired yet and…are you?”

She looked into his infuriating eyes. She could say no. She could get her suitcase and abscond. She could decide her own future and ensure that it did include excited little voices on Christmas morning.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Yeah, youaretired?”

“I mean, no, I amnottired, and yes, I’ll have tea with you.”

—

They sat on a wornleather couch inside the empty Lodge with their mugs of tea; she drank chamomile, while he drank peppermint. He found the cupboard where they stored wood and built a fire in a cold brick hearth. Watching him build yet another fire lit up the stem of her reptilian brain. She felt all her cavewoman ancestors giving her an encouraging thumbs-up.

“Me like him,” they grunted.

When he was done, they sat on the couch and talked—not about parenting and unknowable futures, but about the present. They dissected Gary (Rhea informed Danny of his name) and Lisa (Danny informed Rhea of her name). They admitted to their initial skepticism, but after discussing the couple at length, they decided Gary and Lisa were the real thing.

“I’ve actually never seen a couple get along so well,” Danny said.

“Andthey work together? That’s gotta be so stressful.”