Page 117 of World's Okayest Oracle (Reluctantly) Seeks Demon

Death turned to Hugh. “Is that all, Councilor?”

As soon as Hugh nodded and sat, Death retook the reins of the interrogation. “In that case, former Councilor Goodling, your afterlife sentence is hereby—”

“Um…” Very much against her better judgment, Gwen weakly waved a hand. “Hi. Before you do that…”

Eloise and Hugh gaped at her in matching disbelief and disapproval. Death slumped in his seat, eyes closed, while another reusable Starbucks mug appeared in front of him.

“Could…” Gwen swallowed hard and forced herself to continue. “Could you please have Josiah share the identities of his other fae conspirators? I’m sure Hugh didn’t want to bother you, but that information will make his investigation much easier.”

Death’s half-bared chest rose and fell on another deep sigh.

“I suppose,” he eventually said, then waved a hand at Josiah. “Do it.”

After shooting Gwen one last look of mingled gratitude and censure, Hugh produced his miraculously intact phone from his pocket and took notes on it while Goodling listed all known associates in the fae splinter group.

Once he was finally done, Death tiredly straightened. “And now, former—”

“Yeah. Uh, I’m so sorry, but…” Gwen cringed, half expecting to be executed on the spot. “We need the identities of all the non-fae under Josiah’s control too. Any humans or Supernaturals he bound to his service via bargains”—like Hugh’s mom—“and so forth.”

Despite his clear concern for her continued survival, Hugh seconded her interruption. “I’ll have to interview them in case they have further information. Also so I can evaluate whether their actions merit criminal charges.”

“For the love of…” Death propped his elbows on the table before him and rubbed his eyes. “Fine. List them, Goodling.”

That took another few minutes, during which Death staredinto space and clearly disassociated. Once Josiah finished, though, Death refocused his attention on the courtroom. “Okay. Now that we’ve—”

“What about his common human coconspirators?” Eloise had produced a plastic-wrapped strawberry candy from her pocket, and her words were garbled as she sucked on it. “Hugh probably needs to know about them too.”

Oh, good. Gwen wouldn’t be forced to interrupt the proceedings a third time.

Death groaned loudly, but his impatient wave directed Josiah to answer.

“I never met the humans directly or discovered their real names.” Unwillingly, he added, “I know most are wealthy. Several hold significant power in the military and civil government.”

“All right.” Death ran a weary hand over his glossy, perfect dark hair. “At long last, is that everything you three need to know?”

Hugh, Gwen, and Eloise nodded.

“Then I am ready,once more, to cast judgment.” Death raised his brows and waited. When no further interruption came, he straightened in his chair. “Former Councilor Goodling, your afterlife sentence is hereby—”

“I didn’t have a lawyer!” Josiah shouted.

Eloise rolled her eyes at Josiah. “Youarea lawyer, dipshit.”

“Former Councilor Goodling,” Death began again, “your afterlife sentence is hereby set, in congruence with your actions while living. In explanation, we note the following three justifications: First, your actions to this point have led to the untimely deaths of many Containment Zone inhabitants and several oracles. Those deaths not only constitute a tragedy in themselvesbut have also burdened our already-overloaded post-death administrative system.”

He paused. “As an aside, I feel compelled to note that you voted against increased funding for our digitization efforts even as you were conspiring to add to our workload.”

Based on the animosity in Death’s stare, that vote had really pissed him off.

“Second, your splinter group’s plans would have led to countless more deaths and put the Realm Below even further behind schedule,” Death continued. “Third, as previously noted, you trespassed deliberately into forbidden territory without either good reason or any evidence of remorse. That alone would be enough to justify the afterlife assignment you’ve been given.”

Sipping his coffee, Death turned to each Fate, one by one, and conducted more unspoken conversations.

The rest of them waited.

Then they waited some more.

“For fuck’s sake.” At long last, Josiah couldn’t contain himself. “What is it?What’s my damn sentence?”