Page 5 of Little Howl of Moon

I was nervous. So,sonervous. I hadn’t been on a date in a very long time. My two daughters had a lot to say about it, too. I’d already gotten five texts this morning from Jess and Amy reminding me to trim my nose hairs, tonotmention their mother because apparently talking about grief on the first date was a bad idea, and tonotmention my job as a chef.

The last part made sense—but only because being a chef consumed my life like an open flame. If you got me talking about how to grill the perfect steak, I could monologue for a full hour. Gods forbid I’m ever asked about my opinion on the ridiculous thickness so many burger joints went for nowadays.

Burgers were supposed to be easy to eat. Why was I unhinging my jaw for a bite of meat?

Not talking in depth about being a chef and the restaurant I worked at would be tough, but might be best kept for the third or fourth date after a nice glass of red.

But not mentioning Alia or how she was part of my life for fifteen years? My high school sweetheart? The woman I’d lost to what we’d thought was just a small respiratory infection at the time?

I couldn’t just not talk about her.

I loved my daughters. They were both in college now and starting their lives. I wassoproud of them, but I wasn’t so sure they were right about this one thing.

Then again, I didn’t even know how to date anymore. I’d been so certain for so long I wouldn’t ever want to date again.

But the moment Jess and Amy were out of the nest, I realized just how quiet my house was.

And how lonely I was.

I’d known the Barista for about twenty years. We first met on a random night when I’d gone into a grocery store completely panicking because our two-year-olds had a fever. I’d been so young and a new dad andexhausted. He happened to be there for similar reasons and helped me pick out the right medicine, and we’d known each other since.

It was strange to think of him as one of my oldest friends, given that we didn’t talk very often, but it was true. And when Alia passed, well, he was there for me in ways I’d never known were possible.

My eyes teared up and I cursed under my breath, yanking my gaze from the little cafe.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I wasn’t ready to date again. I wanted a second chance. I was so lonely and . . . old. I was getting old.

Was this the right decision? I did crosswords every morning with my cup of coffee and liked binge-watching medical dramas and had a closet full of dusty kink equipment. Why would someone want to date me?

A figure suddenly appeared to my right. “Jesus fucking Christ!” I yelled. My hand slapped over my chest as I stared at the man in my passenger seat as if he were a ghost.

The Barista.

My tattooed red-haired friend immediately grabbed the lever on the seat and put it back flat. “Sorry. I’m hiding.”

“You? Hiding?” I laughed. “From what exactly?”

“One of my children. She fully convinced Lucy that it was appropriate for her to get ahorse, and naturally he did the whole ‘Go ask your papa’ thing.”

“Almost every girl wants a horse at some point,” I said sagely, remembering when Jess and Amy announced they were going to become cowgirls when they were nine.

But then Amy found out she’d have to shovel poop, and that quicklyruinedher vision of the future. Now, she was becoming an entomologist—which was just as cool in my opinion.

He shifted his body a little lower, eyeing the window suspiciously. “Anyway, I knew you’d be here early.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Next time, don’t try to give me a heart attack. Some of us aren’t immortal.”

The Barista hadn’t aged in the last twenty years, which used to freak me out until I learned he wasn’t human. Then a lot of things had started to make sense about him, like how his bearddefinitelysmoked when he was pissed off.

“Not immortalyet,” he said. “Who knows what may happen?”

“Aren’t you jumping to conclusions?” I asked.

He raised a thick brow. “Did you not tell me that you were desperate to find a submissive who’d let you jerk them off while they whimpered?”

My cheeks heated. “I certainly didn’t tell you that and you fucking know it.”

He chuckled. “But am I wrong?”