Page 81 of Fierce-Baker

“Oh yeah. I finished getting dressed, had the phone in my hand. My body was shaking, I mean trembling. There was so much anger in me there was no room to cry. He comes back to the room, half talking before he makes it in, saying he was sorry but we would be left alone now. His steps just end right in front of me when he sees what I’m holding.”

“I hope to hell he didn’t give you a line of shit that they were separated or on the outs?”

His clenched fists and tight jaw told her everything and more on how he felt about this.

Whose side he was on.

“He tried it, but a text popped up at that moment and I could see it on the screen asking that he call her, that she missed and loved him. There were no excuses after that point. I marched out and left. I didn’t want to hear any explanations. But he followed me to my place.”

“Where you kicked his ass to the curb,” he said. “I know you did.”

“Oh, I did. We had it out. I told him I was done. To get lost. I should have seen it all along and felt like such an idiot. I didn’t want excuses. I wanted nothing from him. I was screaming loud enough that my neighbor came out to see if there was a problem. I said we were fine and Shane left. He said he’d give me time to cool down.”

“You don’t cool down from that,” he said.

“Never. I didn’t. I blocked him and that was it. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant.”

“What did he say when you told him?”

“You see…this is my big messy truth. I never did. He doesn’t know about Micah. And now I’m ready for your judgment.”

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he weighed her words.

She braced herself for the harsh truth to come out. For her to be told she was selfish. She was wrong.

She was playing with fire.

What was she going to do when Micah was older and wanted to know about his father?

All those things she’d told herself already.

All those things she knew she’d have to deal with when the time came.

“I’m not judging you. It’s not what I’d do. It’s not what I’d want if I fathered a child, but I don’t know this guy.”

“I know. I’m worried that when people find out that Micah’s father was married to someone else, I’m going to be labeled a home wrecker. That people aren’t going to believe I didn’t know. Or worse yet, say how stupid I was to not see the signs.”

“It shouldn’t matter what people think or say. It should only matter what you do and want to do. It’s your life, not theirs.”

“I don’t want Micah labeled. He will be.”

“He might be,” he said. “Just like he’ll start asking questions when he gets older.”

“I know all those things. I never thought I’d still have this secret now. I wanted to get through the pregnancy. I was heartbroken. I was shattered. My pride, my heart, all of it.”

“No one would blame you for feeling that way.”

“I didn’t know if it’d get messy. This guy lied to me. I didn’t want to deal with him. None of it. That’s selfish of me. I get it. My parents would be the first to say it.”

“Who do they think Micah’s father is?”

“They have no clue. In their eyes, whoever it is, that person chose not to be part of Micah’s life. That could still happen.”

“But you won’t know until you tell him. Do you ever plan on doing it?”

“You think I’m a horrible person, don’t you?” The tears couldn’t be stopped. She knew this was going to happen. She’d been expecting it all along.

He reached for her, for her fingers, then her arm, tugging her into his lap. “I don’t think you’re a horrible person. I think you did what you could to get through a terrible time in your life. But the thing about secrets, they don’t stay that way forever.”