Page 104 of When We Believed in Mermaids

I shake my head, kiss his hair. “He is mad. We just have to talk things out, okay? Sometimes grown-ups have conflicts too.”

“Okay.”

“Love you, Leo Lion,” I say. “Be good.”

“Have fun surfing.”

“Dude.”

It makes him laugh, and I leave his room and go down the back stairs to the kitchen. The dogs are asleep on the tiles, and I want to take one of them with me, but that wouldn’t be fair to them. Instead, I head out into the garage, toss my bag in my car, and climb into the driver’s seat.

And there’s really only one place to go.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Kit

The imprint of my niece’s hands on my shoulders stays with me as Javier and I walk to the ferry. It’s a mild night, with stars twinkling above the water and the dazzling lights of Auckland thinning to each side as the landscape moves into housing. I can see the waves of hills the city is built upon, each carrying its own spray of lights. “This place is beautiful,” I murmur.

“Yes,” Javier says.

A cocoon of quiet muffles my feelings, my thoughts, my words. I have nothing to say as we board the ferry and sit down inside, watching the dark water move by. He never pushes. He doesn’t hold my hand, which I couldn’t bear right now. He only sits quietly beside me.

As we dock, I ask, “Are you singing tonight?”

“I could.”

I nod. “I’d like that.”

“All right.” For a moment, his eyes search my face, but instead of asking if I’m okay, he simply brushes a lock of my hair back from my temple. “She is a lovely child. It makes me wish I could have known you then.”

I think of myself on the beach, digging my feet deep into the sand while Dylan built a fire for all of us, and the lava in my belly gurgles. Urgently, I push the image away. I can’t bear even one more teaspoon of emotion. “Her experiments are wonderful.” I touch my heart. “I was just like that. A little odd. So passionate about the things I cared about. It makes me feel protective of her.”

I’m sick that my pursuit of the truth might lead to disaster for my sister. After so much time, so much effort, it seems wretchedly unfair. It’s still awful that she faked her own death, but—

I don’t know.

In my purse, my phone buzzes, and I yank it out urgently, worried about what transpired once we left. It’s from Mari.Be ready to go surfing at 6 am. We’ll be gone all day.

“Sorry,” I say to Javier. “It’s my sister.” I type,I don’t have the gear, so I need to rent.

I have access to everything. What’s your board these days?

Short board, doesn’t matter.

See you at six, in front of the Metropolitan.

Cool.I pause, then type,Are you ok?

No. But none of this is your fault. See you in the am.

I look at Javier. “We’re going surfing in the morning.”

“Good.” As the ferry comes to a stop, he takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. I take comfort in his grip, which feels like it will keep me from flying away into my thoughts or falling into the bubbling power of my tangled emotions, where I might be burned to cinders.

Cinders. I smile, thinking of my old dog. “I had a dog named Cinder when I was a child,” I say. “He was a black retriever, and he was with us every minute of every day. Did you have pets?”

“Yes. Many. Dogs, cats, reptiles. A snake once, for a little while, but he escaped, and I never saw him again.”