Page 51 of The Replay

He keeps his hands to himself, but studies me carefully. "Is that a grounding technique?"

I nod. "Three things I can hear. My breathing. Your breath— Ah!"

The elevator makes another creaking noise and I startle again. I jump closer to him, my hands on his chest again, but his arms don't come around me.

"It's okay." He clears his throat. "We're okay."

"Hug?"

I tally the seconds it takes him to respond. Counting should help with grounding, but I don't get to start.

"Fuck. Of course." His arms go around my shoulders. "Yes. If this is what you ask of me— yes."

My head gets tucked in the nook of his neck, when he rests his chin on me. Warmth seeps from him to me, all around, and wow, I hadn't realized how cold I had gotten.

The way he holds me is known to me, down to my marrow. No one else has hugged me this way before, except him. It brings sudden tears to my eyes. I don't blink them away. My lungs have stopped working so hard, just to be in his arms like this.

"Three things I can touch," I mumble against his chest. "You. It's all you."

"Aren't you supposed to list them individually?" He mutters.

"I can hear your voice rumbling in your chest."

"I thought you were doing touch."

"I can feel your breathing under my face. The way your chest raises and falls. The way air moves through you. It's loud, here in the silence."

"Touch, Mariana."

"You want me to touch you?"

"Technically you could touch the elevator, too."

"Cold metal or a very warm body. What to choose, what to choose?"

He takes a deep breath. "Then use me to do your grounding technique, if you must. Just this once."

"An exception?"

"Sure. Now name three things you can touch."

"Your soft shirt under my temple. The fleshy part of your pecs under my fingertips. Err…"

"Say it."

"Your torso against my boobs when I breathe."

"Right." He gulps. I feel it on my forehead. "What happens next?"

"Two things I can see." I lift my head and watch him in the soft light. "I can see just how wide your pupils are. Deep, wide, dark pools. Uhm, the way a tattoo peeks through your shirt collar. It's very open. Two buttons are undone."

"Tell me two things you can hear," he whispers.

I put my ear to his chest again. I'm feeling better, but I keep to the exercise. I still need it and, somewhere in my mind, I'm aware I may not have a chance like this again.

"I always loved your voice," I confess. "And I can hear your heartbeat."

This time, I hear him swallow. "Two things you can touch, Reina."