Page 20 of The Replay

He lifts a hand like he wants to stop all our trains of thought. "Maybe. I don't know yet if that's what I want. For now, I'm happy to be out tonight. That's a start."

"Take your time, man," I say. "As soon as you're ready, let me know. I'll be happy to be your wingman. Two single men going out in the city. It’ll be fun."

"Are you waiting for anything before going out on dates, Mariana?" Evie asks. "Or are you ready to go for that single life dream you were talking about?"

She raises a single shoulder. "I went out on a couple of fun dates once the official separation agreement with the intention of divorce was signed. You know, to make it really official. It was amazing."

"So you're dating right away," Saint says.

Mariana shakes her head in an unconvinced way. "I mostly need to get a good grip on the gala plans. Priorities, you know? But I'm on the lookout for opportunities. If I have to wait, hey, there's always London. At least I know my way there."

Logan raises an eyebrow. "So you're focused on your career first. Like some of us."

I glare at him, in case he means that as an indirect tease at me and my excuse. Logan doesn't reciprocate.

"Whenever you're ready," Evie says, "There's always the club. You can meet new people right here, if you feel like it."

I'm not jealous. I don't care if she goes down to the dance floor and dances all sexy with someone she ends up in bed with. It wouldn't bother me if she flirts with a random person here on the mezzanine and she leaves with them at the end of the night. She can do whatever she wants. Whenever she wants.

I just hope I don't have to see it.

"At some point I might do just that," Mariana replies. "But that's not why I'm here tonight."

"Enlighten us," I say in the most neutral way I can. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

She doesn't buy my apathy and glances at me, but otherwise doesn't address me directly. If her arm rubs on mine, and her thigh presses against mine, it's only because eight people can only fit snugly in this area of the VIP section. The fact my body wakes up is a natural consequence, and should be easy to disregard.

"I'm out here with you all tonight," she says. "I accepted your invitation and I plan to have fun with everyone. I didn't join you to peace out and go in search of di— in search of some fun. Other kinds of fun. You know what I mean."

Everyone responds in different ways, mostly with laughter.

Except me. I just raise my eyebrow at her.

"We are fun," Bear says. "For sure. And you may prove to fit in just fine."

Mariana sighs. "I didn't mean to be crude. I apologize. I've been trying to filter myself less and I'm struggling to find the right balance."

"No need to censor yourself." Nat waves her hand reassuringly. "You'll learn we welcome genuine people."

"Thank you." Mariana leans sideways and presses some more on me. "I got really tired of protocol and politeness. I'm trying to be more spontaneous, but I'm not so uncouth as to drop you all like that when you've all been nothing but kind."

I consider the risks of shifting my weight to give her more room. I doubt she's doing this on purpose. Every interaction we've had shows she'd rather keep her distance from me, if not for my friends. I'd change my mind and meet someone who actually wants to be close to me tonight, but I refuse to end up being the one missing out on a night with my friends to avoid an ex.

Ames raises an eyebrow. "I bet the royals weren't welcoming of spontaneity."

"Not the ones I met," Mariana says. "It got really stuffy after a while."

"I would guess that anything to do with the English nobility would take a lot of formalities," Evie adds.

"Yeah, and a lot of lawyer fees." Mariana nods. "I'm glad it's done. My family is all for manners and polish, but I didn't really fit in that world."

Just like I didn't fit with hers. Maybe after her time with lowly monarchy titles and rules, she can understand why my version of the story is the way it is.

Still, I say nothing as the conversation goes on around us.

All I do is pretend I'm unaffected, while irritation builds slowly inside. A simmering annoyance, because I had planned to enjoy my evening with some of my favorite people, but Mariana's presence forced me to quiet down. Observe and bite my damn tongue. While she laughed with my people and sipped champagne every time they decided it was time to toast to her divorce again.

I rub my lips together. My arms cross and I tense them on-and-off. I stare at the floor, and I don't think I had ever noticed, but it's painted in a checkered pattern in purple and black.